Wankers who don’t ‘do it’From what I can tell, there are wankers who also have ‘relations’, some who used to but don’t any more, and me – I’m a solo-sex girl-worshipper, life-long. I’ve read about others like me, but don’t know any of them.There are all sorts of fetishes, so to be clear, I only ‘look’. At girls. That makes me a voyeur I guess, but I’m not a peeping tom, I don’t need – or want – to see girls nude, I don’t want to watch people ‘at it’. I’m lucky that I’m content to get my pleasure watching fully-dressed girls – fully, but sexy-dressed. From an early age that meant if I hung out my window all day, I’d usually see a miniskirt girl and spunk down the wall watching Her. ‘Lucky views’ were the only way back then I got to see girls show, apart from in my huge collection of magazines. Huge. All my worship was ‘secret’, i.e. you can’t tell girls at work or at school that they make you cum in your pants and you wank on them all the time. It wasn’t until I was middle-aged that I got to worship personally. In my teens my inadequacy wasn’t really a problem, most blokes hadn’t ‘done it’, though when I heard those that had boasting about their exploits, I felt this strong guilt and humiliation – they were talking about the girls whose names I was chanting last night as I masturbated. I only knew what a bra was because I heard one of the blokes telling his mate how he could undo Her bra with one hand (later on I’d collect lingerie catalogues so was a lot better informed).I also felt guilty whenever I had contact with girls, at school or later at work, not just because I was secretly worshipping them, but also because I knew people, ‘normal’ people, ‘did it’, and I didn’t. It was a few years though until I was happy to call myself a wanker. As a youth I guess I knew what I was, but didn’t really think about it or try to rationalise it – self-awareness comes with maturity. I knew I was painfully shy with girls – I didn’t seek contact but it was inevitable in the normal course of life at school, and at work it was unavoidable. So I never got into conversation with girls, scarcely looked them in the eye, but at school that’s not necessarily unusual and no-one particularly notices. Looking back now I realise that I didn’t like physical contact, I never thought about touching girls, even being in ‘their space’, mainly because it would have been a violation. I hadn’t coined the terms ‘goddess’ or ‘girl-worship’ back then, but I definitely regarded girls as superior, mysterious creatures that I didn’t understand but who had tremendous power over me – just sitting there ogling Miss Maggie bulging in Her tight sweater would induce the most exquisite ecstasy – and very wet pants – in a matter of minutes. An early experience – at a party at some blokes house, or it might have been at the youth club in the evening, a room full of boys and girls seemed normal, like in class. I didn’t notice at first that they were gradually pairing off, depending on who fancied who, and at first it didn’t occur to me why. It wasn’t until the room had thinned out I realised the danger I was in. There was if I remember rightly one remaining couple and a girl sitting by Herself. She might well have been thinking ‘oh god, don’t say I’m going to end up with this creep, how do I get out of this?’ I was thinking, unlikely as it was that She’d be the remotest bit interested in me, I might be about to be required to do this pairing-off thing, and I was instantly terrified. I had no idea what to do or say, and certainly had no compunction to ‘get involved’, but the grave risk was that I’d be exposed as the useless inadequate wanker I was, incapable of doing what normal blokes do. I didn’t know what to do and just panicked and ran out of the room. Fortunately no-one seemed to remember anything about that, and I’m guessing the girl breathed a big sigh of relief. I knew which class She was in and made sure I saw Her a few times, and very much enjoyed the delicious feelings of inadequacy and humiliation as I jerked with Her name on my lips and spunk cumming. I particularly love that when I have to face Her the next day. I hoped She’d guessed that I was no good with girls, and therefore probably wanked myself all the time. Moving into early adulthood meant I did stand out more, and it was more difficult to disguise my inadequacies and the fact I was a loner who didn’t have girl-friends or partners. Work was a different world, and in the 70s micro-minidresses were the fashion – I saw girls dressed skimpily in ways I’d not seen before. How I ever got any work done I don’t know. The offices were full of girlie-goddesses (not an expression I’d yet invented back then) and I was always going up there from the stores at every opportunity. I didn’t walk about announcing “I’m a wanker!”, but I did love the thought that the girls would realise I was a bit odd, different, weird, even ‘creepy’, though I never did anything horrible. But Escort when you’re timid, eyes looking down, obviously uncomfortable in the presence of girls, specially beautiful sexy girls, they did notice. Other blokes would breeze in, chat and flirt, talk about their wives or girl-friends, where they went last night, where they’re going on holiday, etc etc. But I didn’t. I didn’t tell anyone about myself, but I was hoping that they’d work it out, and while things were nothing like as liberal then, sex-wise, as they are today, I hoped they’d conclude that I must spend every evening by myself, wanking off. Maybe they’d guess magazines, who knows. Or even that I’d be thinking of them. Some of them noticed the way I was always ogling, and then looking away embarrassed and getting red-faced when I realised I’d been spotted. Or the fact that I’d walk past their office and back, then again, and again, trying to get a good look. Another time two girls from work spotted me in my rainmac (warm day) ogling girls in the local shopping area. Two girls, one of whom I was obsessed with, walking along and I’m at the window in, guess what, my rainmac. My Goddess is making me spunk in my pants and the other girl notices. One of the secretaries sees me go into the toilet with a folder under my arm and emerge half an hour later and confronts me.So yes, a few girls would have guessed I was a pervert, a wanker. How lovely to know that. I was obsessed with several of those girls. A bosomy goddess who could easily have been in my magazines – how I dreamed of that – girls showing their knix in the canteen, I was in a constant state. Thinking of a girl at work and chanting Her name while I knob-rubbed was one thing, but I was desperate to be in ecstasy with my eyes on Her for real. So that’s what I did. Pressed up against the banister ogling Her through Her office window bulging in Her blouse till She made me spunk in my pants. Finding a window to look out and see Her walking along while I held my knob upright till it spunked just at the sight of Her. Watching Her play tennis hidden in the bushes and mac-wanking. Any way I could find to see Her for real and cum in my pants. In that first part of my adulthood, I had a lovely time girl-worshipping, secretly worshipping, and buying every dirty mag I could find. It wasn’t until the sex-chat phone lines came out that I could ever tell a girl about me. And then came my first personal worshipping experience. Miss Melanie was the first girl who knew about me, saw my dirty mags and what I’d done to them, deliberately showed and saw me cum in my pants. I’d never had to think about what I was and why I didn’t ever want ‘relations’ of any sort – other than what was about to happen, i.e. worshipping in person. By then I loved the thought of girls knowing I was a wanker and calling me that, which Miss Melanie did. However, when She said “wouldn’t you at least want to try it, it would be an experience for you” (She was an escort as well as a model, and I guess She wasn’t squeamish – She’d seen me in my rainmac a few times, seen the spunk stains on my wank-trousers), I was very unsettled. I wasn’t expecting She would ‘jump’ on me, but that made me more nervous than I already was. But I loved the fact that She knew I didn’t ever have ‘relations’, and of course She knew from the state of the made-up mags I did for Her what I did with Her photos, and She knew She could make me cum in my pants just showing Her stocking-tops.She makes him do it in his pants right in front of Her…By and large I was rarely in the situation where I might be called upon to ‘perform’ – not that any girls would be interested I’m sure – but whenever work banter and messing about threatened to expose my inadequate perviness, the fact that I was just a wanker and not ‘normal’, I had to beat a hasty retreat. Often I’d only be there to watch a girl I was worshipping, hoping to get some nice views that I could store in my memory for later, and so I could be particularly at risk of being ‘outed’. For example if people were discussing relationships and associated matters, what would I do if someone had said “how about you Graham, what’s your story?” I’d have gone bright red and had to leave, with their laughter ringing in my ears. Miss Melanie was accommodating but didn’t really get the way I was I don’t think. It wasn’t until the era of the Internet and my first personal, but remote, worshipping that I found girls – nude and/or glamour models – that did, particularly Miss Christina, who I told all about me. The Internet also opened the door to proper personal worship, and three Goddesses who did ‘get it’ (girl-worship) – Miss Danica talked about Her ‘chaps’ who were “just like me” so I wasn’t to worry. Even though at one time Miss Danica joked at a Worship Session that I’d probably “run a mile if I jumped on you”. Again that scared me, but I figured that a Goddess like Her was never going Escort Bayan to want to get physical with a dirty old perv like me, She was probably just having fun winding me up, showing She knew I couldn’t ‘do stuff’ like normal men. I love it so much that She knew and had seen what I’d done to Her photos in my pervy wank-orgies, She knew I’d never ‘done it’ and never would, She knew when She posed showing me Her cleavage, She made me cum in my pants.She also talked about the ‘Aunty Jayne Seminars’ – amateur photo-shoots run by Escort magazine for their readers – and how good Aunty Jayne was with the timid blokes who were among the men that turned up. I’d told Her how I dreamed of attending those sessions in the 80s and seeing Her posing, but of course it would have been impossible. You can’t spend the whole session in your dirty mac and without the mac my bulge and wet patch would be there for all to see. Maybe if I’d had the nerve to go along without my mac and get erect the minute I saw Her, then spunk my pants watching Her pose, putting a large wet patch of spunk on my trousers, even if the ‘normal’ blokes had taken the piss and threatened me or whatever, the other pervs might have got their erections upright in their pants and ogled Her and messed their trousers too, in Her full view. What a lovely thought. How lovely to send this to Her years later, once again underlining my inadequacy, what a wanker I was and how just looking at Her photos was too much for meIt’s wonderful that when I had Worship Sessions with Her, I could keep my mac on and done up throughout, even on a warm summer’s day. She knew exactly why of course. Even looking at photos could make me uneasy, if the girl was looking at the camera in a certain way, like if a guy was actually there with Her She’d be saying come and fuck me. Over-exposure and that intimidating look in Her eye meant I couldn’t look at that photo. Any suggestion that I might be expected to do what normal men do was too scary for this pathetic wanker. So on the question of nudity and people having sex. Many wankers love to see one or both of those, and I never did. But then one day I found that what I did love was the idea of girls letting men see them bare, specially lots of men. Nude is too much for me, I’ve never seen a girl nude for real, but I like it when girls are nude, stark nude, if they are letting themselves be seen by a whole lot of men, like at Nudes a Poppin. It’s the thought that girls like to be seen bare by men that really gets me going, and I love to see the pics and videos from those shows with the bare girls all smiling, posing and dancing stark nude while hordes of men look on and take photos and film. I asked one of the girls I was worshipping if She thought the girls knew what the men wanted the photos and film for, and She said, “oh yes, they certainly do, that’s why it’s so exciting, I’d love to do it!”If you see my ‘Spick & Spans Spunked’ gallery, you’ll know how much I love pics of girls raising their skirts and showing stocking-tops and knickers. Early on those girls could make me cum in my pants, so it was really lovely to see quite a few of them – Miss Vicky Ashley, Miss Sue Seymour, Miss Sally Dixon, Miss Nicky Stevens, Miss Trudi Carstairs/Lisa Shannon, Miss Linda Deane, Miss Julie Collins, Miss Donna Marlowe, Miss Dawn Grayson, Miss Cheryl Peters, Miss Anita Dale, and others – posing in nude magazines, posing nude, a lot more than they showed in Spick & Span, so obviously it was no big deal for them to show stocking-tops or even knickers, but it was a very big deal for me. I didn’t see Her nude pic till recently, but it’s lovely to think She would pose nude, but only show a little in Spick & Span because that’s all the wankers who buy those mags can take….Early on I couldn’t get my head round the fact that girls take all their clothes off when they ‘do stuff’ with men, because at one time I thought only people like photographers saw girls nude. Later of course when I saw stuff in mags and VHS tapes – which I only saw in shops, I didn’t buy anything like that – it all fell into place. Then when I was lucky enough to worship in person, I soon got the idea that some girls are not at all self-conscious about being bare with people there, and I really loved that. I think it must have been on the Internet the first time I saw a girl with more than one man. I was pretty dazed by that, and it took me a long time to get my head round it. At that time I was worshipping Miss Christina, only remotely, but it was a very close Goddess/Wanker relationship, and I could tell Her everything. She said She loved the thought of being double-fucked and I did mock-ups for Her of gang-bang scenes, superimposing Her face on the girl being double-fucked, with a cock in Her mouth (that always worried me so much because I always thought if She keeps doing that to it won’t spunk come out and then where does it go? Bayan Escort – in the early days you didn’t get to see the cumshot).I did a lot of research to get the best scene for Miss Christina and turn them into Her reality, which She loved, so I did see a lot of those pics, and I must say the girls seemed to love it, being fucked and fucked by several men, with cocks in their mouths and spunk everywhere. They smiled at the camera to show that they loved gang-banging and they loved being SEEN gang-banging. It seems so, so sexy to me, that girls would do that, and that’s what I found exciting. Not only do they let all those blokes see them completely bare, but She lets them put their penises in every hole She’s got and then She gets all their spunk too, it just seems unbelievable to me. The ultimate in that was a Goddess I was worshipping, who was just peaches and cream, pure and glamorous. Then I discovered that She had done hardcore, and I just HAD had to see it. It seemed beyond belief to me to see Her with a cock in Her mouth, given that I thought She only ever did glamour, girl-next-door demure stuff. She made me cum in my pants watching Her suck cock and then get spunk all over Her, and I still go back to that video, and the other ones She did, now to get my wank spunk pleasure, like the perv I am.I stopped buying mags when they started to get explicit, even with blokes fucking the big tit girls too. But I love Miss Angela White’s work, because She does the fully-dressed right up to gang-bang stuff. I’d LOVE Her to know the delicious humiliation I feel seeing Her in Her videos with several cocks in Her and getting covered in spunk. I’m listening to all the noises but looking at Her cleavage pics, my favourite, till She makes me cum in my pants, just seeing Her cleavage. I so want Her to know that I can’t do what those men do with Her, and I only need to see Her in cleavage pics. I’m sure She’d despise a lowly perv like me who can’t hold it just seeing cleavage, even just in photos, while She’s there with ‘real’ men, gang-banging and having a real good time. Lovely. This is what She does with REAL men…..While She makes this wanker spunk his pants seeing Her like this……“ohhh Miss, can’t hold it, ohhh Miss, you’re going to make me do it……ohhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhh” SPUNK SPUNK SPUNK SPUNK SPUNK in my pants.If anyone’s in touch with Miss Angela I’d LOVE Her to see this!Back in the 70s and 80s, when mags were lovely – not too explicit for a useless wimpy girl-worshipping wanker like me – I always assumed the girls that pose would never let men touch them, or ‘do stuff’. It just seemed impossible for those lovely girls to do anything sordid like that. I didn’t buy porn, the stuff that sometimes they were allowed to sell in Soho. It wasn’t until the Internet came along, and in recent years, as I surf through all the vintage pics sites, I’m starting to see photos of goddesses like Miss Stacey Owen and Miss Shona McFarlane doing stuff with men! And not just like a few months ago, but back in the 80s!!These girls made me cum in my pants, sooooo many times, seeing their cleavage and squashed tits pics. So all those times when I was ogling their pics in Peaches, Amazons, Parade and so on in my van, and their cleavage pics were making me cum in my pants, unbeknown to me they were also doing photo-sessions where men were putting their penises in them, not just, you know, down below, but in their mouths! Naughty girls! I would never have believed it. What a stupid wanker eh girls?!I know it’s ridiculous, and it stems from the 50s and 60s where the assumption was that girls had to be persuaded by a charmer to have sex. To be fair, that’s what the blokes at school always said. Obviously I had no experience, in any way, with girls, and didn’t even speak to them, so I had no idea what they thought. So as stupid as it sounds, I always thought, and still do to some extent, how sexy it is that girls ‘do stuff’ with men. That’s why when I talk about girls like Miss Angela White and Her gang-bangs, I struggle to get my head around it. She’s so comfortable around guys, She loves sex and doesn’t care who knows, She’s not self-conscious, strips nude when men are around (and of course has posed nude for 1000s of photos), She handles penises and She knows what it feels like to have cum pumped into Her, She knows what it tastes like. You can say that that’s normal and of course it is, except if you’re a perv like me, where it’s still a bit mind-boggling. That’s why I’d love Her to know how in awe of Her I am, and that I’ve got no experience of any of that – all I need is to see Her cleavage and I’m in perv ecstasy. So it’s not just that I’m a wanker who doesn’t ‘do it’ – I love girls to KNOW I haven’t, don’t and never will. That all I need is to get my beady eyes on a skimpy-dressed goddess and I’m transfixed, ogling and feeling the spunk rising all by itself, ogling until waves of ecstasy wash over me as She makes me cum in my pants hands-free. Why would I need anything else, when that is just the loveliest experience, and underscores that girls have that power over me, and observing a goddess displaying Herself has me in a heavenly trance.