It was a uni kid’s life, getting fucked up at three o’clock in the afternoon on the roof of the girl she liked. Melanie had led Raven up there when she got there, barely done complaining about the stairs before she was pushed up the ladder next to the bed that led to a balcony that looked exactly like to exactly what you’d expect from a Mediterranean fantasy. The roof was sloped and when she saw two hot girls laying out in shorts and nothing else across the street so they could tan she climbed onto the roof as well. Melanie had gone back to the kitchen to get the beer and when she came up to see her she laughed but also climbed up. Melanie was every fantasy Raven had never had when she was questioning her sexuality. She was wearing basketball shorts and a tank top with big arm holes and no bra, white enough that you could just make out the colour of her areolas. The only thing that was missing for her to look like a frat boy was a backwards baseball cap over her buzz-cut. Raven still thought she was beautiful, though, never having been too dependent on either men or women looking the way the world wanted them to look like. Right now her eyes were red-rimmed and slightly swollen, although she’d washed the tear tracks off her cheeks. Raven did her the favour of pretending not to notice although she didn’t know whether she was there to notice or not. But truth be told she didn’t want to be here for the emotional fall out of Melanie’s relationship. She’d relegated her position to rebound fuck and that was really the only thing she felt competent enough to deal with. Raven had wanted Ivone to fuck off for ages now, too much competition. Not because Ivone was a higher league than her or anything, but rather because she was the same if not a little bit extra. Raven had long hair with champagne blonde hair that had been blatantly bleached to look like Khaleesi although she usually pulled it back from her face, where she wore just enough her make-up to make her eyes big and her lips bold. Ivone had had an edgy hair cut that practically screamed of an alternative lesbian announcing to the world that men were a thing of her distant past (although they weren’t actually) and she let it hang in her face where she wore just as little make-up as Raven but with neon colours. Technically, they looked very different, but when Melanie had introduced Raven to Ivone they looked in each other eyes after trading cheek kisses and saw the exact same thing; they were both exactly Melanie’s type. Where Ivone was exactly the kind of girl you’d expect by looking at her, a bit over dramatic and a lot jealous for someone who’d insisted for an open relationship, full of sweet words said with a sickly-sugar tone that told you what she was really thinking, Raven wasn’t. She didn’t like drama, didn’t thrive in it, so she’d taken a step back. Ivone hadn’t liked Raven, and Raven had made sure not to give her a fair reason to hate her. In all honesty, Raven had even been a bit attracted to Ivone. However she was too young and while Melanie might like girls that were high maintenance, she didn’t, and she had the feeling that the reason Ivone didn’t like Raven wasn’t solely because she was into Melanie and not willing to hide it, but rather because she was into Melanie and not her. There was also the other side of it, that however self-involved Raven might have thought Ivone was, she had been willing to offer Melanie an emotional relationship. Something Raven wasn’t willing to give to Melanie since she knew come June she’d be gone, and anyways, Raven was too good at ruining things to be willing almanbahis şikayet to put herself out there. She’d thought Melanie was hot, and that was it, and if Ivone hadn’t gotten so possessive Raven probably wouldn’t have cared enough to put in more than an hour’s worth of her effort. At any rate, it didn’t matter what Ivone’s intentions with Melanie were since she was clearly gone. Raven had a pretty good idea her interest in Melanie had been reciprocated, but this was the first time in six weeks Melanie had so much as texted her – obviously not allowed to until now – and even if she had hung out with her before, Raven knew that it’d been against the rules to bring girls back home. That had been her first sign that Ivone was gone. “You got a tattoo,” Raven said when Melanie handed her a beer. It was shitty beer and she was reminded for not the first time that Melanie was a uni girl playing house in an adult world that she clearly hadn’t learned the rules for. “You mention that and not the hair?” Melanie asked with a laugh, raising her eyebrows at her a bit judgmentally as if she thought Raven had missed six inches of her hair being cut off. “I actually like the tattoo.” Melanie pushed her playfully, but she was still smiling to show she wasn’t offended. “Bitch.” She cracked open her beer and took a drink before holding her arm to look at. “Looks fresh,” Raven said. It had to be either way, since it hadn’t been there six weeks ago. Melanie nodded. “Ivone did it last week.” “It’s nice.” “You think it’s stupid.” Incredibly stupid. “But also nice.” “I wanted a souvenir.” “Now that’s stupid.” Melanie shrugged but didn’t deny it. They sat together on the roof drinking the beer and not talking about anything serious. She didn’t even mention Ivone again although Raven knew that the only reason she was there was because something had happened between the two of them. Probably Melanie was smart enough to know that Raven wasn’t the one to cry to about Ivone anyways. Instead, they talked about how Melanie was doing in her uni classes although Raven knew Spanish professors tended to just pass foreign students regardless of how little work they did and Melanie asked her about work.“You been on any dates then?” Melanie asked as they reached the bottom of their beer cans. Raven hesitated and finally nodded. She took out her phone and pulled up a picture of Evie, a petite dark-haired girl she’d gone out with to get Melanie out of her mind. It hadn’t really worked because it hadn’t really lasted long enough even though she liked Evie. That was probably good, though. If she’d liked Evie after ten minutes of talking to her then there’d been the chance for Raven to really get hurt when she inevitably ruined things, liked she had all her past relationships. Evie was in university too, although one that was farther out than Melanie’s. Maybe that was the problem. Uni girls. It was hard living a uni life as a dropout. But girls her age generally weren’t as interested in wasting time with games. She generally wasn’t either, she lived a completely adult life, except in this sense. “She’s hot. You still going out with her?” “We went on two dates, that’s all.” “Did you two…?” “No. Wanted to, but didn’t.” “You’re not good at closing,” Melanie said plainly. Raven’s mouth twisted and she didn’t say anything because she didn’t know how Melanie meant it. Melanie had seen her flirting with other girls, getting generally good signs that ultimately amounted to nothing, but she wasn’t entirely sure that Melanie wasn’t referring to herself. For all the interest she had shown, almanbahis canlı casino not willing to hide it, she’d never even tried to so much as kiss Melanie. It’s not that Raven couldn’t or even didn’t initiate, she just wasn’t very into rejection, and tried to head it off by not putting herself out there. She knew it was a flaw, but she figured she did alright despite it. “I liked her,” Raven said finally, referring to Evie. “If I’d known I wouldn’t see her again then I would have.” “I wasn’t talking about her.” “Don’t know what you’re referring to, in that case,” Raven said, looking at Melanie.Melanie looked away then, toward the other girls on the roof. They were still tanning and they were playing music, not too loudly, but loudly enough that they could hear the melody from where they were at. After a few seconds, Melanie climbed down from the roof and held a hand out for Raven. “You want to smoke a bowl?” Melanie asked her. Although she didn’t actually, enjoying the sun too much to actually want to go back down into Melanie’s too small apartment, Raven took her hand and climbed back in. As Raven glanced toward the bed with the rumpled sheets, it occurred to her that Ivone had been sleeping in that bed too. It’s not that she hadn’t known that theoretically, but she had always considered the flat more Melanie’s than Ivone’s. Melanie was getting the money from her parents, sure, but she was still the only one that had actually paid for it. Melanie turned on an episode of Friends on Netflix and packed a bowl. She had a small cot instead of a couch, but it was big enough for the both of them to sit on as they passed the pipe back and forth. There wasn’t much conversation in between them in the time it took them to finish one episode. “You want to listen to music instead?” Raven asked, high enough to not question herself too much. It was bold for her, anyways, since there weren’t many moves she considered sexy when there was the potential for Phoebe to start singing Smelly Cat. For a few seconds, Melanie didn’t say anything, but then she stood up and went to the computer. Turning off Netflix, she put on R&B music and lowered the volume so that it just lightly filtered through the flat. “So why did you invite me over, anyways?” Raven asked Melanie as she returned to the cot. “Didn’t want to be alone, and you’re people,” Melanie said evasively. “And that’s the only reason?” “I’m not sure.” There was a look on sincerity on Melanie’s face, clearly conveying that while there were different ways to interpret her inviting Raven into her house and proceeding to both drink and get high enough to loosen their inhibitions but not so much as to red light any potential for sex, she hadn’t really been thinking that far ahead. She had been thinking about it on the roof, her eyes lingering on the print of Raven’s lipstick on the can and making a comment about how she hated wearing make-up but really appreciated it on other women. And she was thinking about it now, her eyes suddenly a bit more intense. They reminded her of the second night she saw her, when they were standing in the doorway of the bar waiting for Ivone to leave the bathroom. It’d been raining so they’d stood close together in the narrow doorway. Close enough to know that they wanted to be even closer.“Let me know when you’ve figured it out,” Raven said after a few seconds, when Melanie didn’t say anything else. Anything helpful. Melanie groaned, a half exasperated, half amused sound. “You’re so bad at closing.” Then without any more preamble, she kissed Raven. Raven felt a sound of almanbahis casino surprise rumble in the throat before she totally realised that her and Melanie were kissing. The kiss wasn’t chaste, even before Raven got over the shock enough to start kissing back, mouths open and tongues touching immediately, not wasting any time since it’d taken them months to get this far in the first place. She felt a bit tense, strung up like a Christmas tree and jittery but not in a good way. Then Melanie made a soft noise, sighing straight into her mouth when Raven gripped her waist to pull her closer, and something in Raven’s spine loosened. There was a bitter feeling to knowing she was really just a rebound since she actually liked Melanie, there was no way around that, but she knew Melanie liked her back even if that left a slightly bitter taste in her mouth too. Even if it had never gotten here in the real world, she knew she’d been right here in at least one of Melanie’s fantasies, just like Melanie had been in hers. Knowing Melanie liked her, even if it paled in comparison to what she felt Ivone made this a little bit easier. And a little bit worse, but that was easy enough to ignore.Easy enough that she started pushing her back, instead of continuing to pull her closer, until Melanie was laying flat on her back on the cot and Raven started kissing her neck. Melanie fisted a hand in her hair, hard enough to hurt, which Raven couldn’t help but find annoying. She pulled back up a bit but didn’t see any expression in Melanie’s face that told her to stop. “You want this?” “Shut the fuck up,” Melanie said, but leaned up to kiss her. Raven kissed her back but pushed her back down a second later. “Then let go.” Melanie hesitated, but let go, and there was a guarded look in her eyes now. “I don’t like you like you like me,” she said after a few seconds. It felt like a slap, but it didn’t hurt because Melanie was wrong. “I don’t like you like you think I do.” Melanie went on like she hadn’t spoken. “So I don’t want you to make this into something it’s not.” Raven couldn’t help but wonder who she was actually to, her or herself, but decided to answer in case it was the former. “Who here let a seventeen-year-old Brazilian girl move into her house after fucking her once or twice because she was convinced she was in love with her even though she was never going to stay with you?” Raven asked, and she knew it was cruel, but Melanie wasn’t being fair. Even if Raven had no intention of making this into something it wasn’t, even if she only liked Melanie enough to be there in that moment, but not much more, Melanie clearly thought she did. These things always seemed more monumental to twenty-year-olds but Raven was old enough to know better. She was here because she’d put effort into getting them here, not because she wanted to stick around in the ruins of Melanie’s relationship. Melanie slapped her, angry, but kissed her again in the next second. She rolled them over and pinned Raven against the cot as if worried she would try to get away. Raven wasn’t trying to get away, not sure why she didn’t even consider it, since her cheek stung from the slap. When Melanie pulled away next she took off her tank top in one swift moment and maybe that was why. Like a teenage boy, Raven had never been good at passing up a sure thing. “Ivone loves me too,” Melanie said, her voice full of animosity but her eyes made Raven feel like her skin was burning up. “Good for her,” Raven replied, leaning up and sucking one of her nipples into her mouth. Melanie moaned again and it sounded reluctant. She was pulling Raven’s hair too hard again and she hissed, scraping her teeth hard against one of the breasts. “But she hates me, doesn’t she? You invited me because you know she’d hate you fucking me more than some random girl she doesn’t know, right?”