I took a long drag on the cigarette. It was my last. They always are. My fingers sort of twitched at the keys on the piano. I wasn’t in a playing mood. I closed my eyes and the emptiness of the moment filled me. There was something soothing to it. I started to play. It was nothing really at first, just a note here and a chord there. Soon a song started to take shape. In no time I was playing my heart out into the night. The scotch burned on the way down and sat in the stomach like fire. Memories stirred in my mind like drops of rain in a puddle. My thoughts were simple at first as I played and drank but soon images began to come forward and fill all my thought. Soon it overcame me and I had to lie down. She rolled into my mind as the tears rolled down my face. I was lost in memories now. ONE YEAR AGO The rain pounded against the windows mercilessly, as we bathed in the cruel light of the 65 watt bulbs. The party was over and everyone was saying their final goodbyes. A few close friends stayed a while after for a sort of after party, it was nearly 2 in the morning by the time they left. It ended up that my sister and I were alone. She had only drank a little, so she was probably within the limit to drive, but at only 18 it wouldn’t be a good idea to be caught at any level driving. She decided to stay the şişli escort bayan night so I figured we would stay up late and hang out like we used to as kids. We hadn’t been alone in such a long time. It’s a strange thing being completely alone with someone and yet being so comfortable. There’s always something between two people when they’re alone together. Something unspoken that just makes moments seem to last. “I’m not really all that tired. I mean, if you’re not, why not let’s just stay up for a while longer?” she had such a strange way of talking. It suited her well “Sure, why not?” I said. We decided a movie would do well, so we picked a few oldies and in the end decided on Casa Blanca. I grabbed some wine and cleared the floor, tossing some blankets around that we could lie on. I turned off the lights, let the movie roll, and let the wine flow. At about the scene where Humphrey Bogart is standing in the rain at the train station, the power went off with a loud click. A transformer had blown somewhere. Gwen reached over and grabbed my hand. The dark had always scared her, as well as the rain. I jumped up and grabbed some candles, lighting them all over the place. The lighting was perfect. “That’s better,” she said with a smile. “You know how much I hate the dark.” “I do. I remember mecidiyeköy escort bayan you coming into my room as a kid. You would fall asleep as long as I would pet your hair softly. ” “Yeah…” she said softly, “I remember that…” “Yeah.” I got up unconsciously and made my way to the piano. I sat down and started to play. Music instantly came to me. I played the rain, my fingers dancing with it, having their way with the piano. I lost all consciousness if my surroundings as I lost myself to the song of the night. I didn’t notice Gwen pouring another glass. I didn’t notice Gwen let her hair down, or it flowing across her back. I didn’t notice the black dress she had decided to wear that night to a party of friends. I didn’t notice the heels that could kill or the looks she stole. I didn’t notice the black stockings that covered her tight young legs. I didn’t notice her lying on the floor, feet poking out from under her butt. I didn’t notice the way she stared at me the whole time. Without thinking I pulled a cigarette out of the silver case from on top of the piano. I placed it between my lips, the filter resting on the tip of my tongue. My hands slid across the top of the smooth wood again as I grabbed a match from the little box next to the cigarettes. I slid it back to me, escort şişli striking it as I pulled. I held the flame up to the tip of the cigarette and listened to the crisp sizzling of the burning paper. I pulled in and the smoke filled my lungs slowly. It burned warmly until I exhaled. It left me feeling satisfied in a way that is indescribable. I took my time with this one. I was quitting and it would be my last one. I looked back and saw Gwen watching me. She stood up smiling, and walked over to me, her knees pointing in awkwardly, but somehow it was sexy. It fit her and the little smile that made her look like my own pet kitten. She reached her hands around my chest, sliding them across the top of the piano, pulling a long cigarette from the case, grabbing a match with the same hand. She lit it with her one hand in a strange motion and placed it to her lips, pulling at it softly. She was still leaning, her breasts pressed into my back as she smoked. She leaned forward, not exhaling, but letting the smoke fall out of her little mouth as she breathed into my ear, “I like listening to you play.” I resumed playing as she took her place back on the floor. After a while all you could hear was the rain pounding against the window. “I can’t sleep like this brother,” she said. She sounded almost scared. “Why don’t we just… I mean when we were kids… I’m trying to say…” “I’ll get the bed ready silly.” That was a relief. I didn’t know how to ask. She made my head spin more than the wine. It was time for sleep’s embrace. But what if we didn’t sleep? No. That was a weird thought.