“We can take it out,” said the doctor, “but we’ll have to put a new one in after the wedding. So, it’s up to you.”Lucia shook her head, fighting back tears.“I’ll keep it,” she had said. Having the nasal gastric tube inserted down her windpipe to her stomach had been a horrible experience. She had no wish to repeat it.So, there she was. The day of her sister, Maria’s wedding. And she was showing up with a Goddamn tube running from her nostril to her stomach. It was held in place by layers of sticky surgical tape. And there was nothing she could do to hide it.In some ways, the unsightly tube was the least of it. There was the meal with the lovely food, most of which she couldn’t touch on her post-surgical diet. There was the lovely old house where the reception was. The fancy cars and the big party. And the fact that it was her younger sister who was getting married ahead of her. Lucia was not even in a relationship.She knew she shouldn’t be resentful; it wasn’t Maria’s fault Lucia had been sick. It wasn’t Maria’s fault Lucia had been picked on and kicked around at school. But her sister just gave the impression of having had it so easy in comparison. Maria had glided from school to college to job. From crush to boyfriend to boyfriend to marriage.And Lucia had tried to follow that path but stumbled at every turn. There was the guy who was all perfect at first then turned controlling. There was the one who drank. Who, to be strictly honest, enabled and encouraged Lucia’s already considerable drinking. There was the guy who had told her she couldn’t see her friends anymore, the man-child who ignored her for video games.And now it was Maria’s wedding, and she knew everyone would be thinking“Isn’t it about time Lucia settled down?” and “It must be a sad day for Lucia.” and “Poor Lucia, the old maid.”She put a brave face on at the service. It was a small, intimate affair. Maria and her partner, who was a perfectly decent fellow, said their vows and kissed. Lucia, self-conscious about the tube, did her best to stay out of photos.The party was a much bigger affair. There were all the aunts and cousins etc. She found herself sitting in a table in the corner.“Are you maid of honor, Lucia?” an aunt she hadn’t seen in years asked kindly.“No,” she growled and lapsed into silence. Everyone ate and drank. Lucia got through most of a bottle of wine, and şişli escort then the speeches began.The father of the bride speech was mercifully short. Lucia managed a halfhearted chuckle at some of the dad jokes. Then the best man got up. His name was Oscar, and he was the groom’s brother. He was handsome. A few years older than the groom. Thirty, maybe. Well dressed up. He had a beard and a slight quiff in his hair, made with gel. She hadn’t met this guy before. Probably some big-shot banker with a trophy wife somewhere.“I’ve been instructed to keep this speech smut-free, so if I come across any innuendo, I’ll whip it out immediately.”Lucia giggled at that one. And the next one. And the next joke, and soon she was laughing along. Oscar’s speech cheered her up.The party moved to the dance hall, and the dance hall had a bar. She watched as the couple took their first dance. She took her seat at the bar and ordered a martini. Her parents were at the side of the dance floor, watching Maria dance with her husband.Oscar came over to her.“Can I join you, Lucia? I should get to know my new sister-in-law.”“Sure,” said Lucia. Her words ever so slightly slurred. The wine at lunch was making itself felt.“Now, just so you know, I know a nasal gastric tube when I see one. You don’t have to tell me why it’s there. But promise me you won’t let it stop you from having fun,” he said. She smiled at him, touched.“I won’t. How’d you know what it is?”“Sick kid myself, you know. I’ve had one.”“Really?”“Yep. Come swimming with me someday, you can see the scars.”“Ha! Bet mine are worse!”“Well, there’s a pond outside. Let’s go take a dip and find out!”“Get enough Martinis into me, and I just might.”Oscar sat with Lucia and chatted with her, and they laughed together. Occasionally, she caught a glimpse of one or other of her parents looking their way. They flashed an encouraging smile her way.They danced and drank the night away. God knows how much she drank, but it was a lot. At two o’clock, the DJ finished her set, and the party broke up. Lucia and Oscar were two of the last people still up. They got up from the bar to leave. They walked together through the trash and spilt drinks and broken glasses of the party. They halted at the bottom of the stairs. Her room was on the left. His was on the right.“Well, good night,” said Lucia.“Good night,” Oscar şişli escort bayan offered a hug and she accepted. He held her close, and she held him, her head on his shoulders. She felt warm and comforted and…she pulled back so that her face was close to his.They kissed passionately. The emotion of the day and the wine and fatigue combined with the warmth of the hug, and the kiss was soft and gentle, as if…as if it were them at the altar, but their families had abandoned their wedding, their friends had deserted them and even the priest had fled into the night. And only the bride and groom remained, not noticing the detritus around them, locked in their private embrace. “We never went skinny dipping,” she said quietly.“No. Never got to see who has bigger scars. Or who…has…the nicer bedroom,” he said. She looked up at him. His eyes were warm and gentle. She nodded. He led her by the hand up the stairs.His room was gorgeous. It had a four-poster bed. There were old paintings of people who had lived long ago on the wall. Oscar went to the bathroom. When she looked out of the window, the fields outside were lit by moonlight and stretched as far as the eye could see. She turned off the light and pulled off her shoes. Then she hitched her dress up, and pulled her panties down, feeling the breeze slip under her dress.When Oscar emerged from the bathroom, she waited for him to join her on the bed. Oscar pulled off his jacket, then his tie. She watched him unbutton his shirt, and when his torso was exposed, she looked down. Yes, there were scars there. They had been big and prominent once, but now were long faded and covered with hair that grew across his stomach. Inwardly, she sighed. Her scars were fresh and far more visible.Oscar got into bed topless. He sat next to her, and they kissed. He kissed her well; There was an urgency and desire in his kiss she had scarcely felt from the men she’d kissed before, not since the hormone-driven kisses of late adolescence.“My panties are off. I’m ready,” she whispered to him. He took that as a cue to pull down his trousers. Then he was just in boxer shorts. She looked down. His penis was bulging. Oscar reached behind her for the zip of her dress. She moved his hand away.“No. Try it like this.”Oscar frowned. He reached for her dress again.“No. Come on, stop messing. Get down there,” she said.Lucia mecidiyeköy escort hitched her dress up to her knees and spread her legs wide.“Let’s get this off you…” And Oscar tugged at the zip again.“No. Please.”Oscar lay back down.“Will you at least tell me why?”“It’s horrible.”“Your body?”“Yeah.”“Will you at least let me be the judge? Make up my own mind?”She shook her head.There was a long, long silence. Oscar looked at her. Occasionally, he placed a brief kiss on her lips. But they were silent for a long time. Then he said“I don’t want to have sex if you can’t get naked. And it’s not the nudity; it’s the reluctance and the shame. You got to own it, Lucia. I’ve been there. Bit different, I know, but I was shy to go swimming because of my scars, but I had to get over it. You’ve got to just say Fuck it.”Lucia said nothing.”Honestly, I can’t get properly into it with someone who won’t bare themselves. It makes me feel like you don’t want to be doing it with me.”I’m not going to rip your dress off. But if you want more, it has to go. And by the way, I’ve been around hospital wards, as you can see. Your body really can’t shock me. I’ve seen it all before. Just…it’s up to you.”He rolled over onto his side his back to her. Then he waited, wondering what she would do. Lucia lay on her side trying not to cry. She was angry that he wouldn’t do what she asked and screw her with her dress on.But deep down, she knew he was right. She knew that if a man proposed to have sex with her fully dressed, with his cock just let out through his fly, she wouldn’t be having any of it. She rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom.Lucia undid her dress and let it fall to the floor.The first scar began just below her breasts. It ran down and skirted her belly button as if it were a car that had swerved a foolish dog. Then it continued down to just half an inch above her genitals. The scar was fresh and ridged and red, and there was no hair to hide it.Then there was the second one that crossed across her belly horizontally, passing just below her navel. Equally raw, it looked as if she had been sewn up after attempting to ritually disembowel herself with a samurai sword. And then there was the tube running down her nostril…She shook her head. Even if he pretended not to care, he’d never call her again. Oh, what had she been thinking, going to bed with a man in this state?But then she remembered voicing her fears to a girlfriend before the surgery “Who’ll want me after this,?” she’d said.”Scars are sexy! If everyone who had a scar never got laid, there’d be a lot more frustrated people out there.”