Asinine. Noble, I’d first thought, but recently, with a bit more of life in the rearview, I’d concluded that asinine was more accurate. My two best friends in the world and I’d walked away, hadn’t spoken to them in over eight years, because I’d convinced myself, over their objections, that it was best for them. Playing the martyr had seemed to suit me back then, but I’d quickly grown weary of it.Oh, I still sent them each a funny birthday email, a Christmas card, a warm message on their anniversary – easy for me to remember, since I’d been their Best Man – but I always kept it cool and impersonal. I wouldn’t take their calls, never contacted them personally. I’d ignored their attempts to reach out, which eventually dwindled and then stopped entirely… but who could blame them? I’d been the one who shut them out, after all.In addition, it felt like the old relationship between me and Jake, once so very close, so important to me, had become strained. So I’d walked away from them, the mental gymnastics of “putting aside childish things” only slightly less painful than straining my shoulder patting myself on the back for my noble sacrifice.It had felt like certain other walls, not just their marriage, had arisen between me and my best friend. But now older, perhaps wiser, lonely and questioning my decision, I realized that no resolution, no “closure” could be had without talking to them.At about the same time that I was working through that glacially paced epiphany, I had a brief, strange email from Teri. It said, simply: Heath, please get in contact with us. We need to talk to you. It’s important, or I wouldn’t have intruded in your life. We love you…I was touched by her words but procrastinated still, my own epiphany not yet fully realized; then I began to have terrible thoughts that perhaps one of them was gravely ill or some such thing. And so, a month or so later, while on business in Colorado where they now lived, from yet another bland and generic motel room, I called.Teri answered, her familiar, sultry voice like a warm oil massage. “Hello…?”“Teri, hi.”A long pause; then, with a note of wonder, “Heath? Is that really you?”She’d recognized my voice after all the years, even with only two words, which was flattering. “Yeah, Teri, it is. How are you doing?” Banal, but what do you say to people you’ve hurt badly and then avoided for nearly a decade?It didn’t seem to matter, and I could hear the excitement in her voice. “Good, Heath, we’re good. Oh, it’s so great to hear your voice! Hold on a sec’, I’ll tell Jake to get on…” I heard her call out, “Jake, honey, Heath is on the phone, can you believe it? Grab the extension.”I probably wasn’t intended to hear his reply, but after a long pause I did, faintly but discernably. “Heath, yeah? Tell him to fuck off.”She came back on. “He can’t come to the phone right now…”“Yeah, I heard.”“Oh. I’m sorry, Heath. He’s still hurting over you leaving like that, shutting us out.”“It’s okay, babe. My fault, really.” I hadn’t meant to call her ‘babe’, but old habits… I rushed on, hoping she hadn’t caught it. “If it helps, tell him I’m hurting too. I fucked up; it took me a long time to realize it.”“He thinks it was his fault; he blames himself and still misses you, or he wouldn’t be so angry. I miss you too, but I know you had your reasons.”“Stupid reasons maybe, in retrospect; selfish reasons.”“You had good instincts, Heath. We needed to cool things off, to learn how to be a married couple.”“That’s what I sort of figured. I needed time too, to sort through some baggage. Things were pretty outrageous; it wouldn’t have worked out.”She was silent for a moment before quietly replying, “I guess there’s no way we’ll ever know.”“No, I suppose not. I miss you guys.”“I know; us too.”I laughed. “Maybe you do; it doesn’t sound like Jake is dying to see me.”“He is, Heath. He misses you every single day; you’re the brother he never had.”That choked me up, because I knew it was true; he was the same to me. He was an only-child, and I had only a younger sister, so ultimately, we’d bonded like brothers – closer than brothers, in fact. We’d been inseparable until a woman – Teri – came between us, and even that astonishing girl hadn’t truly driven the wedge; that took her becoming his wife, coupled with my pride, jealousy and intransigence. Narrow-mindedness, maybe.I tried to blow off the hurt. “Well, anyway, I was hoping maybe we could get together, clear the air, talk, like your email said… hey, about that; are you both okay?”“Sure, we’re fine; no worries there. So you’re here, in Denver?”Relieved that her odd email message apparently hadn’t presaged anything dire, I answered, “Colorado Springs, but I’ll be in Denver tomorrow. Can I take y’all out to dinner?”“Nonsense! You come to dinner. I’ll make my special lasagna, your favorite.”“It escort izmit might be easier to meet somewhere, in case anyone needs to walk away. Less awkward.”“Nobody is going to be walking away, I’ll see to that. Just come.” She paused, then, “We still love you, you big putz.”I laughed. “Nobody’s called me that in a very long time. Haven’t missed it, really. You’re sure about dinner… and Jake?”“I am; he loves you, mister.”“Tell him I’m sorry.” I hesitated for a moment. “Tell him that I love and miss you. Both of you. I regret the way things have been.” Neither Jake nor I had ever told the other that we loved them; that message was conveyed only through Teri, and rarely even then.“Oh, Heath…” she sounded sad. She gave me brief directions to their home, and I promised to arrive before six o’clock – and bring wine.Hanging up, I was surprised to realize how excited I was about seeing them. Jake and I had been as close as any two boys can be growing up, although it hadn’t started out that way. ~~~~~~~~He’d moved into town the summer before third grade, the ‘new kid’, with a chip on his shoulder. We’d hated each other, instantly and passionately. Both athletic and competitive, even at that early age, and both unwilling to play second fiddle, the friction was unavoidable. I’d always been the alpha dog in my peer group, and he, another alpha, was the first to seriously challenge that; my resentment ran deep.We fought, every sports or fun activity ending in flying fists, and the outcome varied, although it often ended in a bloody draw. We were the two most dominant athletically; pairing us on one team was a no-win situation for anyone on the other team. As a result, we were always the captains, requiring us to be the ones choosing up sides. This did nothing to build a friendship between us, yet somehow, in some miraculous way, one blossomed. Juvenile respect for a worthy opponent, perhaps.By sixth grade we were inseparable, and by high school we were legendary; Heath and Jake, a force to be reckoned with, at least in our own small community. Taller, faster, and more graceful than him, I played wideout and backup safety on our football team. Several inches shorter but with a heavier, muscular build, much stronger than me, he started at middle linebacker and occasionally played fullback. I was an offensive team co-captain, and he’d been awarded the same honor on the defensive side. In the winter, I played basketball and he was on the wrestling team.I think even then I’d known he was bisexual; the signs were there for anyone close enough to him to notice, although I’d never thought of him that way at the time, and it wasn’t something either of us would acknowledge. I knew he wasn’t gay; his fascination with the opposite sex, like my own, was real and profound, but there were other things, things I never put together until much later.The way he always checked out other guys – including me – in the showers, his curiosity seemed more than casual; certain comments he would make, things that aroused him, and the incident that had happened the day we found his dad’s porn stash… But more on that later.It was Teri, who didn’t enter our lives until the summer before our senior year, that brought things to a head and almost ended our friendship. ~~~~~~~~~ Jake and I had gone to the lake, ostensibly to swim and cool off but really to ogle girls in skimpy swimsuits and, with any luck, possibly hook up, or at least find one of our friends whose family had a boat, maybe do a little water skiing.Walking from the parking lot down to the beach, I saw her first. “Holy shit! Who’s that?”He looked at me, then followed my gaze. “Wow! I dunno, but I guarantee we’re gonna find out. C’mon!”The object of our attention was gorgeous, but she was also that shiny new object that men – even teenaged ones – find fascinating. Never mind that she was standing with two of our town’s more desirable girls, one of whom was rumored (truthfully, as I’d discovered) to ‘put out’ quite readily; they each seemed to dim as the she stole their light, glowing ever more brightly.She was tall and lithe, her figure sensational in her small yet modest white bikini, and she moved with an unconsciously sexual, feline grace far beyond her years. Her breasts were more than adequate, though not huge, her tummy flat and well-muscled, and her long, tanned legs led up, up, up, to a tight, perfectly rounded, heart-shaped ass which was having a profound effect on my nether regions as we drew closer.The sun gleaming off her oiled, nut-brown skin, set off by her white bikini, gave her an exotic air, and her thick, brown-blond mass of wavy hair just begged to have my fingers entangled in it. I’d never found another girl as powerfully attractive, nor as instantly fascinating as this stunning newcomer. izmit escort Somehow, erotic fantasies and thoughts of spending the rest of my life with her meshed as one, overwhelming me, and I was hooked. And destroyed.Alas, Jake is the one the girls notice first. I’m several inches taller, move more gracefully, and have the long, lean muscles of a runner or endurance athlete, but he’d grown from cute kid to a handsome young man, with a brilliant, eager smile, bright blue eyes, and a mop of unruly, sun-bleached blond curls, and he undeniably had the more defined muscular, powerful build; he was also very at-ease and charming with women, a quality I could not claim.He was the star around which members of the sexier sex orbit like planets trapped in his gravitational field. I was not completely hopeless, but around the girls I found most attractive I tended to become nervous and hesitant, sometimes even tongue-tied; I made a decent wingman, but that’s all.I knew even then how things would likely go and having my heart take wing knowing it might be crushed so suddenly was disorienting.I heard her introduce herself as Teri Denton, and heard Jake introduce both of us. I was staring at her when Jake introduced me, and as her eyes turned to me I felt my insides turn to jelly. Eyes so dark brown that the iris blended into the pupil regarded me with an air of calm confidence which was also far beyond her years, and all I could do was stare into them so intently that I saw the small golden rays that radiated out across the chestnut brown.“Hello, Heath. Are you always so quiet?” Even then she’d had that sensual, warm oil voice, that tiny, enigmatic smile.No, I wasn’t; my silence was her fault, but I said, “Uh, yeah, mostly. Jake talks enough for both of us.”She laughed, and at that moment I was ready to fall on my knees and beg Jake to let me have her. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. I had the momentary thought that, having seen her first, I should have called ‘dibs’. As semi-adults, however, ‘dibs’ was presumably no longer valid; I’m not sure it would have applied to another human being in any event… but god, how I wanted her! ~~~~~~~~~ By the time the fall semester began she was his, and I was depressed. Jake and Teri seemed only to have time for each other, my best buddy’s lack of interest in me only deepening my depression; when I needed him most, he was otherwise involved and in large part, the cause of my angst. I felt like I’d lost them both in one fell swoop – or one swell foop, as I often malaprop it.I tried to date other girls but none of them were Teri, and I tried to get closer to other male friends, but none of them were Jake; they all fell short in my eyes, and I began to spend a lot of time alone. It was an agonizing time in my life.Ironically, it was Teri who began to heal the wounds, seeking me out and spending time with me during a free period we had together while Jake was in class. She was friendly, charming, beautiful and open, and we formed a warm friendship even as I fell more deeply in love with my best friend’s girl. Soon the three of us were hanging out together often, and despite knowing I was the third wheel, I was much happier.We went everywhere together, and Teri took to walking between us, holding hands with each of us. I sometimes felt like I was intruding, but they seemed fine with it and continued to invite me – movies, dinners, what felt like dates – and while I knew I was the odd man out, I enjoyed being with them too much to say no very often. I hoped I wasn’t a burden, that they weren’t asking me merely to be polite.One possibly ulterior motive surfaced, they started asking me to drive, whether in my parent’s Buick or in Jake’s restored ’69 Mustang. While I drove, they’d make out, either in the front bench seat alongside me in the spacious Buick, or in the cramped rear seat of his Mustang.Sometimes, especially in the back seat, it would seem to go beyond mere kissing and fondling, and while through some masochistic flaw in my character I kept going with them, I seethed with jealousy and resentment – and arousal, invariably developing a rigid, throbbing erection to the sounds and scents of their necking and lovemaking.It all changed one night, the rare fall Friday that we didn’t have a football game, when we’d driven from our town, Montrose, Colorado, up to Grand Junction to shop, eat, and see a movie and were heading back home, about an hour away. As expected, he tossed me his Mustang’s keys.I shook my head. “Oh, great! Again, I’m the designated driver for the sexmobile.” I passed it off as a joke, figuring they just wanted to make out, although clueless Jake, oblivious to my feelings about Teri, had previously told me they were fucking. Still, inside I seethed, wanting izmit kendi evi olan escort it to be me with her in the back seat… holding her, kissing her, while he drove. Or simply disappeared…I’d dealt with a lot of them touching and kissing and various other PDA’s and had no desire to be present for another of their heavy make-out sessions, but here I was – and more than a make-out session was on tap. We weren’t ten minutes down the road when the bumping and moaning began; a knee, or maybe a hip or elbow banging into the back of my seat as they tried to get situated in the small rear seat for something more than kissing.When something else hit my seat back – hard, jarring me – I said, “Jeez, guys! Don’t make me come back there!”They both giggled before Jake said, “The more the merrier!”, earning another round of giggles. If I’d thought he was serious, I’d have been off the road and back there in a heartbeat, regardless of the cramped quarters.From there it wasn’t long until all I heard was moaning, gasps of passion, and muttered words between lovers. By adjusting the mirror and sneaking an occasional glance over my shoulder, ostensibly to check for non-existent surrounding vehicles, I made out Teri, glorious breasts exposed, on her knees in the center of the seat, her bare ass in the air and cutoff shorts around her knees, and Jake’s arm draped over her butt, his fingers no doubt at play in her wet pussy.Jake was directly behind me, and with a subtle turn of my head, from the corner of my eye I could just glimpse Teri’s head bobbing up and down in his lap as she sucked his cock. It was infuriating, yet intensely arousing, and my cock was so hard that it ached. Before long I heard Teri moan around his cock as his fingers brought her to orgasm, and moments later, undoubtedly inspired by her sounds and the feel and scent of her wet sex, I heard Jake groan and felt his knees push rhythmically against the back of my seat with each spurt as he came, accompanied by a series of small, appreciative sounds from her as he pumped away into her eager mouth.I was gripping the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles were white, and my hands ached, while my rigid, throbbing cock strained against my pants. Intensely aroused, jealous as fuck, I drove angry for several miles, speeding, attacking the curves of the twisting road until the tires were squealing in protest.So intent on the road that I didn’t realize Teri was climbing between the seats, trying to join me in the front, one sharp curve threw her against my shoulder, almost causing me to lose control.She cried out in alarm. “God, Heath! What are you doing?”“Driving.”She got settled in the passenger seat. “Slow down!”“Fuck off.”I could feel her magnificent eyes on me, staring as we rode in strained silence; then, “Are you okay?”I couldn’t look at her. “No.”“You’re angry.”“Angry, yes… Jealous.”“Oh, Heath.” She sounded upset. “Oh, I’m so sorry; that was thoughtless, wasn’t it?”I glanced at her. God, so beautiful, her glorious face flushed, lips soft and swollen from sucking cock. I wanted to kiss them, even knowing where they’d just been and that she’d taken a mouthful. “Extremely.”“It was cruel.”“Right again. I assume asshole fell asleep?”She laughed. “Yes – how did you know?”“He always falls asleep after he comes.”Another warm-honey laugh. “Yes, he does, but how did you know that?”“Long story; we’ve been friends since way before puberty, remember.”“I must get him to tell me that story someday.” She paused, then leaned close. “We didn’t mean to hurt you.” I could smell his semen on her breath; I still wanted to kiss her, and those long bare legs continued to tempt my eyes away from the road ahead.Exasperated, I looked at her. “Teri…” I’d almost blurted out that I loved her, but I stopped myself just in time. “Never mind; I’ll live.”We rode in silence for a few miles, before she said, “Did you get hard?”I turned and looked at her, and in the dim light our eyes met for several seconds before I had to turn back to the road. “Yes, of course.”“Heath…” She reached across and put her hand on my thigh, high up, and when I didn’t object she began to slowly explore, her fingers wandering to my inner thigh where she found the still-hard bulge of my erection lying against my right leg, extending down my thigh. Their sounds, her beauty, and the faint scent of pussy and semen in the car had kept me achingly hard, my cock throbbing with arousal.“You’re still hard.”“I know.”Her fingers continued to explore the extent of my bulge, and eventually she wrapped her hand over me as my erection strained against her fingers. “Jesus, Heath… you’re huge!”“I dunno… Kinda big, maybe, not huge.”“You’re huge. Much bigger than Jake.”“I know.”“Again, I should ask, but never mind. Can I take it out?”“Teri…” I turned and stared at her. “What about Jake?”“He’s done, sound asleep. I want to see it… touch it… suck it.”It was so tempting, but… “Teri, I can’t. He’s my best friend in the world.”She pulled her hand away and leaned back in her seat, the moment broken. “You’re a good guy, Heath; I can see why he loves you.”