As I pulled into our driveway, I noticed no lights on in the house. That was odd. Charlie should be home by now. I pulled into the garage seeing his SUV was not there. I texted him from my car: “Babe, where are you. I just got home, and you aren’t here? We have a game night at Sally and Jake’s tonight at 7:30, so we need to eat before we go. Pick up some Chinese. Love You”I looked at my watch. It was just after 6:00 pm, so I had time to shower and dress, then we could eat and still be on time.After a tough week, I walked into the house. My work project had several significant hiccups, putting us behind schedule. My boss wasn’t happy. My best friend Stella told me her marriage was over, and Charlie had been a little distant since Wednesday night. I was looking forward to this weekend to be with Charlie, reconnecting. We had been slipping lately, making things tense between us, which concerned me. I flipped on the light and put my computer bag on the counter. Then I saw the note lying there, and I picked it up and read it. “‘Caroline, who is Justin Payne?’ Call me when you are ready to tell me but not before!””Oh God, No,” I slumped onto a stool.A deep feeling of dread and panic spread through me.I reread the note. My mind was spinning. How did Charlie know about Justin? There was no way? We had been over for over two years, and I had not talked, texted, or had any contact with Justin in all that time. He lived across the country now and was married.Why Now? Oh My God! I knew this was bad, very bad. Then I realized I had not heard back from Charlie. Where was he? My head was spinning, and I was having difficulty breathing. I felt a little panicked. I called Charlie, but his phone went to voice mail. “Call me; please, Call me!”~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Earlier in the week, on Wednesday, I left early from my office at Stanfield and Associates, Attorneys at Law. Over the past few months, I have cleaned out a storage unit that we rented for our stuff while building our house. Now that we have moved in, I closed out the rental on the space and cleaned all the other boxes. Most of them were full of junk that we didn’t need or want. But to ensure we didn’t throw away any family pictures or things we may want to keep from our college days, I went through the boxes and junked most of them. I had found a box full of journals Caroline had written over the years. I was tired, so I sat back to drink a bottle of water and flipped through several of them. Most of them were over eight years old. They were about her college life and some of the guys she dated. Not like a diary, she didn’t write details. Reading excerpts was enlightening, and I saw Caroline as she developed into the woman I know and loved today.I finished the bottle of water and picked up one last journal. Written on the front was ‘2018 to 19.’ It was the only journal I had found that Caroline wrote during our five-year marriage. I was conflicted. Should I read this one? The others were all years old before I knew her.My curiosity was just too intense, so I opened it. After reading several pages, I was sorry I had looked at it. I was so angry I threw it against the medal wall of the storage unit, making a loud güvenilir bahis noise. My eyes filled with tears. Suddenly I was overcome with sadness and anger, a potent mix of emotions.I had just read that my Caroline had an affair with a man, Justin Payne. I only knew what Caroline had written in this journal, and she wrote more graphically about their relationship than she had before, describing their many times together in bed. I forced myself to read more pages and discovered their affair had lasted over a year. Caroline had written details, describing their torrid love affair graphically to any reader.I slumped back, thinking about what I should do, but I had no idea. It was clear from her writings that Caroline loved me, but she had also loved fucking Justin. She wrote further that her fling with Justin was purely physical and that her only true love was me. Reading further, I learned their affair had ended a couple of years ago.Jesus, I was shocked by this. My Caroline had cheated on me, giving her body willingly to another man while we were married. We were so in love, and we had planned out our future together, so I was confused about how she could have done this to us. Caroline violated our marriage vows that we had pledged to each other for life. The woman I love had betrayed me repeatedly, and she had broken my heart.My first thought was that our life together was OVER!But I also thought this was in the past, so, ‘just maybe’ we still had a chance.I closed the storage locker and drove to the dump, trashing everything but the journals, and I took them home to read again later.I drank two beers and thought about what to do next. I needed answers, and I needed to know who Justin Payne was, where he was, and was he still a threat to us. I also needed to confront Catherine indirectly, setting her emotions loose and making her feel guilty. I packed a bag for a couple of nights and put it in my SUV. I decided not to do anything until the weekend. I had a legal case I needed to finish on Friday morning. I would try to act normal with Catherine, but I would not make love to her, and that might signal to her something was wrong.That night and Thursday were difficult. The good thing was that Catherine was starting her monthly, so she was not feeling well. Sex was off the table. Our night was quiet, with very little shared affection. I knew she thought something was wrong but was afraid to ask me. She went to bed early both nights. I stayed up and gathered the things I needed when I left Friday afternoon, setting my plan into action. Friday morning was normal. We cuddled in bed when we woke, talking about the weekend. We showered together, washing each other, but there was no sex play or teasing. That wasn’t normal for us, so it indeed added to Catherine’s concern.We ate a small breakfast; I was stoic the whole time. Just as I was leaving, Caroline came to me, hugged me, and asked, “Charlie, what is bothering you these last couple of days.” I looked into her eyes, and I was sure she could see there was no sparkle.I kissed her softly and looked into her eyes, “We will talk later. I have to go now.” I gave her another peck on the lips and left. As I walked güvenilir bahis siteleri out the door, I looked back. Catherine was staring at me, and I could see the concern on her face.I didn’t text or call her all day. That was normal when I had a case closing, like that morning. I finished my argument in court and went to the office. The case was continued for two weeks, so I had free time to try to work through this mess. I told my partner that Caroline and I were at a point, and I had to get away for a couple of days.He was surprised but agreed to say nothing and play stupid when she asked where I was. He didn’t know that he would be honest with her. My assistant was the same, and William would take care of the others on Monday if I weren’t back. I went by the bank, then home, and finished gathering what I would take with me. I sat at the kitchen counter and wrote a note to Caroline. I laid it on the counter along with the pen, gathered my last things, and left, uncertain when I would return. I had no idea what to do or what would happen next. I knew I would not be here when Caroline got home, and I wasn’t sure what would happen when she read my note.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Where was Charlie? I hadn’t heard from him all day. I held his note in my hand and reread it. God, how could he know about Justin? There was no way! It was over long ago. I was so ashamed that I dedicated my life to Charlie and us, vowing nothing like this would ever happen again.I worked so hard to erase Justin from my life and had succeeded, not thinking about him since we ended it. He was married and lived with his family on the west coast. Why now, How, What did it mean to us? God, please don’t let my stupidity and selfishness destroy my beautiful husband and our life together. I had to clear this up before it all blew up into a tornado and destroyed our life.My call went to phone mail: “Charlie, come home. I will tell you about Justin. Just please come home now. I love you!”I poured a glass of wine. My hands were shaking so badly that I almost spilled them.I waited, but there was no response, text, or call back.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I packed the things I would need, some food and clothes, and put them all in my SUV. There were eight or ten more journals that I had not read, so I took all of them with me. The last one in the box was from 2019-20. I had to read that one.Once packed up, I headed out.I needed Caroline to worry, feel fear and loss, and I wanted her to suffer over what she had done and feel my pain. Then we could talk and see what was next.Two hours away in the Pocono mountains, I headed to my family cabin. It is a hundred-year-old log cabin my great grandfather and great uncle built for hunting deer and fishing. The cabin was mine now.I did not use the place often, and Caroline had only been there twice. She would never think I was there, and I would be able to think clearly there trying to figure this mess out.When I got to the village, I met Thomas, who looked after the cabin. I got the key, and we had a beer at the local pub. He is a lovely man, well over eighty now. We chatted for a while, and Thomas sensed something was wrong. After the third beer, I finally iddaa siteleri told him my problem. It was good to talk to someone much wiser than me.I talked. Thomas listened as Madeline shared my love for my wife and heartbreak when I discovered she had cheated on me years before. I told him of my anger and confusion about what I should do. Thomas listened, not saying anything as he ordered more beers.I finished my rambling after almost thirty minutes and three more beers. I am not a big drinker, so I was getting buzzed.Thomas looked at me; his eyes sparkled, and his white beard framed his face. If he had been a large fat man dressed in red, he could have been Santa Claus. Thomas is a retired lumberjack and had worked with his dad and uncle cutting trees and running a sawmill for over sixty-five years.He told me his father and grandfather had helped my great grandfather build the cabin all those years ago. He told me, “Charlie, look on the wall, by the potbellied stove, and see their names carved in the wood.”Then Thomas took my hand in his, “Charlie, you are a good man. Let me tell you a story I think might help you.”Thomas told me he was married for fifty years to Madeline. They were the same age, born only three weeks apart. They went to the same one-room school, and she graduated, but he didn’t.They were married after she graduated from school at seventeen. The whole family built them a log house and helped them get started. They didn’t have much, but they had love and family, and that was enough.Soon they started having babies. After six, they stopped. They struggled to raise six kids in their little house, so their family and friends came together, building a new section of two bedrooms. One for Thomas and Madeline and one for the girls. The boys slept in the loft in the main room. After their third child, Tina, was born, Madeline had a tough time, causing strife in the family. Suddenly one day, she left, leaving a note. Thomas reached in his pocket and brought out a tattered and torn envelope. He handed it to me. “Read it, Charlie.”I carefully took out the paper, opened it, and read, “Thomas, I love you and our family more than anything, but I need a short break. I am going to Georgia to Missy’s house for a little while. I am taking Tina with me. Aunt Lily is going to help you while I am gone. I love you, but I need this; please forgive me. Madeline” My heart was in my throat as I read this note. It was so full of love, and the fact that Thomas carried it with him was something.I looked at him, “So what happened?”Madeline stayed gone for two months, then one day, she was back. We had minimal contact while she was away, and I had no idea what she had done there. I knew right away Madeline was different, and something had changed in her. She seemed more distant, and though she picked right up on her mothering, our relationship seemed strained.After about three weeks, she asked me to take a walk with her in the early spring. We used to take walks often before she left. Many times, we walked down by the waterfall and made love. I am sure we conceived with most of our children there.I hoped that day we would renew our love there, and that was not how it went. We sat by the waterfall, and Madeline confessed that she had an affair with a man she met in Georgia. A businessman with good looks, education, and money, Edwin was different from anyone she had ever met. He swept her off her feet and into his bed.