Understanding the G-SPOT and Female Sexuality …

Understanding the G-SPOT and Female Sexuality …Understanding theG-SPOTand Female SexualityA 10-Step Guidefor Unleashing the Ultimate in Female Ecstasyby Donald L. HicksUnderstanding the G-Spot and Female Sexuality:A 10-Step Guide for Unleashing the Ultimate in Female EcstasyCopyright © 2001, Donald L. HicksAll rights reserved.No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrievalsystem, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical,photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without writtenpermission from the author.Cover Photo: SuperStock Inc.Universal Publishers / uPUBLISH.comUSA / 2001www.upublish.com/books/hicks.htmISBN: 1-58112-657-3 paperbackISBN: 1-58112-655-7 ebookMaterial in this book is for educational purposes only. Thisbook is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor thepublisher is engaged in rendering legal, accounting, investment,medical, or any other professional service.The G-Spot techniques described in this guide are designed tohelp individuals and couples heighten their sexual pleasure andemotional well-being. Absolutely no part of the program shouldcause pain or unusual symptoms. Should such arise during orafter G-Spot stimulation, the affected party is advised to seekmedical evaluation to identify possible causes. No part of thisbook should be used as means of self-treatment or as a viablesubstitute to or for medical evaluation by a physician. Any useof the techniques used in this book are at your own risk.Table of ContentsChapter 1– Learning the Basics 7Does the G-Spot Exist? 7What’s the big deal about G-Spot orgasms, anyway? 9The Dire truth about conventional orgasms 11The 92% Factor 14Why Does the G-Spot Exist? 16A Side Order to Go, Please 17Blended Orgasms – A Recipe for Higher Ecstasy 20To Orgasm, or Not to Orgasm? 22Intimacy: 101 24The Phenomenon of Female Ejaculation 25Some Healthy Considerations 32A Brief History of the G-Spot 34Chapter 2– The Technique 37Let’s get started! 37Step 1: Priming 39Step 2: Foreplay 40Step 3: More Foreplay 41Step 4: Teasing 43Step 5: The “Go Ahead” Sign 45Step 6: Hovering 46Step 7: Locating her G-Spot 49Step 8: Stimulating the G-Spot 52Step 9: The “Big-O” Draws Near 55Step 10: You’re There! 57Chapter 3– Afterwards 59The Little Death 59Sharing the Experience 60Chapter 4– Self-Application 62Chapter 5– Exploring Other Possibilities 64Chapter 6– Problem Shooting 67Pain or Discomfort 67Inability to Reach Orgasm 68The Urge to Urinate 69Orgasm Anxiety 70He Said / She Said 71The Emotional Aspect 73Chapter 7– Tips From Experienced Users 75Chapter 8– An Informative Interviewwith a Renowned Sex Researcher 80Chapter 9– Case Studies & Worksheets 88Female Responses 88Male Responses 97Chapter 10– The Ending Climax 104Voluntary Questionnaire 105Part 1 106Part 2 108Resources for Further Research 112Reading Materials 112Web Sites 113Key Words Glossary 114About the Author 118Materials Used in Preparing This Guide 119Bibliography 119Endnotes 120DedicationThis book is dedicated to Arleta, the one person who encouragedme to write. The wife who never complained about the trough Iwore in the floor while pacing restlessly back and forth, searchingfor that elusive word or angle. The woman who never laughed atthe bald spots worn above either ear from scratching my head inthought. The one person who had unwavering confidence in myabilities, even when I lacked faith in myself.Without her patience and understanding, this book wouldnot exist.Learning the BasicsDoes the G-Spot Exist?You may be wondering if the G-Spot is real…. Does it exist,or is all the “G-Spot hype” just a selling tool for magazine articlesor adult novelties? And if the G-Spot does exist, why is it there?Why is it so easily overlooked? What physical purpose does ithave? Does the penis touch it during intercourse?And most importantly, if the G-Spot does exist, how does onefind it and coax it from hiding?This book will answer all of these questions.You may also wonder about female ejaculations — “squirting”as the phenomena is often called. Is “squirting” merely moresales hype, or are female ejaculations real? And if female ejaculationdoes occur, why haven’t you seen it? Why does it occur?What physical purpose is there for female ejaculations?If you’re wondering about any of these questions, let me takea moment to congratulate you for taking the time to enrich yourknowledge and understanding of female sexuality. As you willlearn from these pages, the phenomena of the G-Spot and femaleejaculations are not new to society. Documented mentions ofthese enigmas can be traced back through history to as early asAristotle. And without doubt, millions of people have reachedtheir graves without ever experiencing the joys and pleasuresoffered by the G-Spot.The goal of this book is simple. We want you to learn, firsthand,that both G-Spot orgasms and female ejaculation do existand can be evoked to bring about the ultimate in female ecstasyand sexual enjoyment. More importantly, you’ll learn why thesetwo phenomena exist, how they’ve been overlooked countless7times in the past, and the important roles they play in the processesof human reproduction and c***dbirth.Through these pages, you’ll learn a proven and tested “10-Steptechnique” that shows you how to find the G-Spot, how to stimulateit, and how to drive your lover crazy with ecstasy. You’ll deepenyour understanding of the female anatomy while learning newmethods of rekindling the romance and sexual excitement in yourcurrent relationship.The G-Spot does exist. Through this book, you can prove it toyourself, and your lover.8What’s the big deal about G-Spotorgasms, anyway?“My lover and I have great sex…why do we need to worry aboutthe G-Spot?”If you’ve never seen or experienced a true G-Spot orgasm,imagine for a moment, an orgasm that causes the whole vagina tospasm violently, often contracting so tightly that it literally triesto “force out” your finger or any object in the vagina. And imaginethat while these intense contractions are throbbing and pulsingthroughout the vagina, the vagina becomes very wet, often literallyejaculating a stream or spurt of fluid with each contraction.Imagine an orgasm that causes such intense ecstasy that even thequietest and most controlled woman will yelp and buck andthrash; one that makes normal “screamers” go dead silent—thescream caught in her throat—a scream that if freed may wake allthe neighbors within a five block radius.And imagine the satisfaction of never having to wonder: “Didshe just orgasm? Did she fake it, or was it real?”. But insteadknowing the instant her orgasm begins by clear physical signsthat occur involuntarily and accompany the orgasm.This is the glory of a G-Spot orgasm.But we don’t want you to take our word for it. We want you tosee for yourself.Here’s what a few others had to say:“I didn’t think orgasms like that were real. . . I thought theyonly existed in romance novels. . .” — B. R.9“It was absolutely the deepest, most wonderful climax I’veever felt! It was like warmth started in my very center and flowedoutward all over my body. I loved it!” — L. K.“I thought I had wet the bed! And then (name withheld)explained what had happened and I could hardly believe it finallyhappened to me. . . If I have to wash the sheets every day for therest of my life, it’s worth it.”— T.J.“I wanted it to last forever and couldn’t stand another second.. . both at the same time. It was the greatest!” — M.J.J.“After that, I’ll never let (name withheld) get away from me!Our love life has never been better. . .” — K. A.“She used to just lie there and moan through the whole thing.It was frustrating because I never knew when she was orgasmingor if she even orgasmed. Thanks to your technique, there’s nomore guessing…” — T.P.10The Dire Truthabout Conventional OrgasmsWhile most men can go from “slightly-interested” to “fullejaculation”and orgasm in an average of 3 to 4 minutes, orgasmsfor women are often more elusive. On average, a women requires15 minutes (or longer) of combined foreplay and stimulationbefore orgasm is achieved. The reward: a clitoral or vaginalorgasm lasting an average duration of 8 to 19 seconds.In the early 1970’s, a detailed nationwide study showed thatnearly 12% of women never experienced any type of orgasm! Thesame study showed that 16% could have an orgasm during intercourse(with the addition of clitoral stimulation) and 19%achieved a rare orgasm through intercourse alone. Only 26% hadan orgasm on a regular basis (30% when including those whoclaimed to have vague “good feelings” in the vagina).Couple this with the brief 8 to 19 second duration of an averageorgasm and you have a very dire picture.Another segment of the study showed controversy over“clitoral” orgasms vs.”vaginal” orgasms. The consensus showedthat clitoral orgasms (empty vagina) were largely considered“higher intensity” than orgasms with vaginal penetration—butthere was a catch-22 factor. During clitoral stimulation andorgasm, most women felt a strong desire to have an object in thevagina. The problem with this “vaginal craving” was an immediatedecrease in pleasure if vaginal penetration was made.Additional parts of the study concluded orgasm intensitiescould range from questionable (“was that an orgasm I felt?”) topure ecstasy—but the high-intensity orgasms occurred much lessfrequently. The study also showed that most women have intercoursefor the purpose of sharing emotional intimacy, while anothergroup’s primary motivation was to obtain the ever-illusive11orgasm. One study showed that about 1/3 of the women studiedenjoyed anal penetration while another 1/3 didn’t like anal penetration.Another study showed that 21% of women desired dailysex, while 18% —nearly the same amount—were satisfied withsex 3 times per week. Other studies probed masturbation with fingersversus objects, sex with the legs together versus spread, andthe preference of different positions during sex.The relevance of this information is to elucidate the obvious:we are all different and have different tastes and desires in a partnerand how we interact with that partner. We have differentneeds, likes and dislikes. Secondly, it brings to light the sad realitythat many women never orgasm, and those who do aren’t alwayssatisfied afterwards.But now there is hope.Duration in the length of orgasm is one area where the G-Spotleaps ahead.Unlike the normal vaginal or clitoral orgasm, the G-Spotorgasm lasts not a mere 8 to 19 seconds, but often lasts 45 seconds— with common reports of 2 minute orgasms and rarereports of orgasms lasting between 20 and 40 minutes! One manreported:“She kept orgasming as long as I was rubbing the spot. Itnever quit or slowed down. We have a clock radio on our nighttable and it went on for at least 45 minutes. I know that soundslike an exaggeration, but it’s not. I was beginning to think itmight harm her in some way if I kept going. And I was ready toexplode any minute. Watching her thrash around in ecstasy andfeeling how warm and wet her [vagina] was against my fingerswas driving me crazy. Her [vagina] kept contracting and squeezingand she felt as tight as a schoolgirl again. It was driving mecrazy. I love this G-Spot thing.”A few women have reported needing to stop their partnersfrom continuing stimulation because the pleasure was “excruciating”or “nearly unbearable.” One woman stated:12“The anxiety was overwhelming. At first I thought it wouldnever come and when it did, the ecstasy was almost unbearable.It felt so wonderful I couldn’t stand it. I thought I might go crazyfrom the pleasure. I wanted to keep going, but had to stop, bothat the same time. And when it was over, I was exhausted andtotally satiated. Total bliss doesn’t define what I felt. It’s not evenclose.”Beyond driving your lover crazy with long-lasting ecstasy, anadditional benefit of G-Spot stimulation may be a reduction inrisk for cancer and diseases in the female prostate (also known asSkene’s paraurethral glands and ducts). While the occurrence offemale prostate cancer is low and seldom fatal, any reduction ofrisk is still beneficial. According to many alternative healthexperts and Oriental practices, massaging the prostate can draintoxins and stress. In the book, The Prostate Miracle, New NaturalTherapies That Can Save Your Lifei, the authors discuss similarmeans for cleansing the male prostate gland and releasing toxins.Although the female prostate is smaller than the male counterpart,the two develop from the same embryonic tissue. Because oftheir similarity, one might hypothesize that stimulation of thefemale prostate and the corollary release of fluids and cleansingcould offer the same benefits as male prostate stimulation. Thistopic of women’s health deserves future research.13The 92% FactorUsing the technique provided in this book, an astounding 92%of our respondents reported success within the first 3 applicationsof the technique! This percentage includes women who previouslyconsidered themselves either non-orgasmic or reported low occurrencesof orgasm.In one survey we conducted, women were instructed to grade“Vaginal”, “Clitoral”, and “G-Spot” orgasms on a scale of 1 to 10(with 10 being the “most pleasurable” and 1 being “leastpleasurable”). Of the respondents who achieved successful G-Spotorgasms, the average rating was a “10” (One woman claimed itwas “off the chart”)! The average rated clitoral orgasms was an“8” and vaginal orgasms ranked third in pleasure intensity witha “6”.When asked to describe their G-Spot orgasm experience, wecommonly received the same four statements within mostdescriptions:1. “It was deeper than anything I’d felt before.”2. “It felt very different from previous orgasms.”3. “It was more fulfilling/satisfying than previous orgasms.”4. “It felt ‘better’, ‘more pleasurable’, or ‘more intense’ thanother orgasms I’ve had.”In addition, many women equated the G-Spot orgasm to a“whole body” event, whereas other orgasms were “pelvic”. Wereceived many comments about feeling a “heat” that started deepwithin “their core” and spread throughout their body. Coincidingwith this statement, many of the sexual partners (who administeredthe technique) made comments such as: “she broke out in asweat afterwards” or “she was drenched and exhausted” or “shethrew off the covers”.14Many women also reported their first (noticed) “female ejaculation”occurred with the G-Spot orgasm. One re-occurringcomment we received was: “I thought I’d wet the bed. . .”. Wehave heard this comment over and over.While G-Spot orgasms and female ejaculations are separateentities, the two sometimes occur simultaneously. We’ll discussfemale ejaculation in greater detail, later.Like finding a half-bloomed rose, you now have a glimpse ofthe G-Spot’s glory. Soon the petals will unfold.15Why Does the G-Spot Exist?Beyond the intense sexual pleasure the G-Spot is able to produce,new studies are investigating the G-Spot’s value in blocking painduring c***dbirth. In an article titled Beyond the G-Spot: RecentResearch on Female Sexualityii which appeared in the January 1999Issue of Psychiatric Annals, authors Whipple and Komisarukstate: “. . . a series of studies has demonstrated that self-stimulationof the anterior wall of the vagina in women produces a significantelevation in pain thresholds. . .” and “we believe c***dbirth wouldbe more painful without this natural pain-blocking effect…”.This research (which has been replicated by other researchers)shows the G-Spot’s value during c***dbirth. Because of this, wefeel that the physical purpose of the G-Spot is:1. To ease pain during c***dbirth (as shown by Whipple andKomisaruk).2. To either enhance or provide sexual pleasure.By stating “enhance” sexual pleasure, we are referring to“non-direct” G-Spot stimulation. For example, when the penisswells during normal intercourse, the increased girth of the penismay partially stimulate the G-Spot and “boost” a woman’s sexualenjoyment to the point she orgasms with her partner. If your loverhas ever said anything like: “You started swelling and hittingsomething up in there that felt great…” you may now understandwhat was happening. Likely, the partial stimulation of the G-Spotenhanced her sexual pleasure.By stating “provide” sexual pleasure, we are referring to directstimulation of the G-Spot. Which, as you will hopefully soonlearn, can provide a stand-alone unparalleled source of orgasm.16A Side Order to Go, PleaseBy following the technique outlined in this book, one canobtain indirect rewards along the way. The Ten-Step system isdesigned to teach G-Spot understanding and prowess, yet it alsoincorporates the building blocks for enriching and strengtheningrelationships.” Heightened intimacy” is a good example. We allneed a partner with whom we can share our hopes and dreams,our fears and desires, our failures and our triumphs. We needsomeone to laugh with and someone to help us forget the pressuressociety heaps on our shoulders. Sharing intimacy and having friendsto confide in can be an important element of good emotional health.“Spontaneous praise” is another suitable example. When we’redating that special someone, praise is a wonderful tool. It’s agreat way to evoke a smile, a word of thanks, or perhaps even akiss. We use praise to hint our feelings toward that person by saying“I love this about you” or “I love that about you”. And because ofthe smile it often evokes, we freely point out our mate’s beauties,skills, or whatever qualities we admire in them. They smile, loveus for our admiration, and often return a like sentiment.As the relationship progresses, however, we tend to withdrawfrom praising our partner and she or he withdraw from praisingus. Offering praise becomes similar to giving part of ourselvesaway: a silent forfeiture of power. It fosters feelings of inadequacybecause giving praise somehow makes us feel like “less” and theother person like “more”. Beyond that, the lack of received praisebegins to gnaw at our own self-worth. We start second-guessingwhether our partner still admires the traits she or he once freelyapplauded. We vow not to venture out on a shaky limb and praisehim or her if they no longer praise us. The same praise we onceused as a helpful tool has now become a weapon, and we set ourselvesup to have a “praise stand-off” with our mate, like twopetulant c***dren pretending to be gunslingers.17With the stealth of a snake, a rift has split the ground betweenus and our partner, widening with the passage of time, until weare separated by an immense void.But this need not be the case. As we know, the world can be aharsh place. It continually beats us down. At times, the simplestword of encouragement from our mate can bolster and fortify us,giving us the strength to lift our chin and carry on. By recognizingthe fact that we need praise, it’s easy to understand that our mateneeds praise too, in all the same ways. And whom do we want asthe source of that praise: ourselves, or a stranger? What does itreally cost us to give praise? What might it cost if we don’t?Like most things worthy of pursuit, the rewards you (and yourpartner) receive along the way to the G-Spot—pleasure, tenderness,open communication, increased sexual awareness and sexualexpression—will reflect the effort you extend.One successful user of the technique had this to say:“. . . Thanks so much for introducing me to the G-Spot andsharing your wealth of sexual know-how. You have no idea howbeneficial your time and insightful comments have been in restoringmy marriage. Before reading your book, my wife and I were onthe brink of separating. Lovemaking had become an unimaginativeweekly ritual for us. The fires of romance that once blazed brightlyhad dwindled to a pile of cool ashes. We spoke to each other onlyout of necessity and both felt we had grown apart. Now, that haschanged. The knowledge you imparted has changed that. By followingyour suggested steps, the doors of communication re-opened.My wife and I discovered that we still have many common goals;they were just buried underneath the headaches of everyday life.We were both bored in the bedroom and had little desire to cuddleor do anything that might lead to sex. Now, we’re like teenagelovers again. Our relationship is renewed. We take walks together,talk openly, and have adventurous sex daily (twice if we can manage).It all started that first night I tried your technique. The seed fornew growth was planted. I (we) can’t thank you enough. ”—G. P.If your relationship has grown stale and lacks romantic luster,congratulate yourself for purchasing this book. You’ve taken a18positive step toward rekindling the fires of romance. And whilebuying a book may seem insignificant, remember that knowledgeis a powerful tool. Sometimes the smallest spark can set off thelargest blaze.The matches are now in your hand.19Blended OrgasmsA Recipe for Higher Ecstasy“What are blended orgasms?”Suppose for a moment that your mate mentally rates a clitoralorgasm as a “7” and a G-Spot orgasm as a “10”. What wouldhappen if she felt both of these orgasms at the same time? Theanswer is simple: she would experience an (off-the chart) blendedorgasm.In the early 1970’s, Irving Singer touched upon the concept of“blended” orgasmsiii. Thereafter, while studying the continuumof orgasmic response and the corresponding nerve pathways,Whipple and Perry validated, defined, and clarified the reality of“Blended Orgasms”iv .In layman’s terms, blended orgasms are two or more orgasmsoccurring simultaneously (or in very close rotation). Blendedorgasms originate from multiple sources of simulation. For example,if you perform cunnilingus as you stimulate your partner’s G-Spot,she may experience a blended “clitoral/G-Spot” orgasm.While the two obvious sources for blended orgasms are either(1) “stimulation of the clitoris and G-Spot” or (2) “stimulation ofthe clitoris and vagina”, we need not limit our thinking to onlythese two combinations. An orgasm can originate from a varietyof sources. For some women, having the breasts massaged ornuzzled is very pleasurable and can bring about orgasm. For others,petting and necking (with or without breast stimulation) caninduce an orgasm. Others reported an orgasm during dreams,while horseback riding, and even while dancingv. And for others,mental imagery alonevi vii (without any physical stimulation) cancultivate orgasm.20Opposite of this, as we discussed in the earlier segment, 12%of women reported never experiencing any type of orgasm.Others reported being able to orgasm through only one type ofstimulation, such as clitoral stimulation. Logic would thereforeindicate that not all women are likely to experience blendedorgasms—unless they find new sources or methods of becomingorgasmic.We hope the technique you learn from this book will be such asource; a freshly bloomed rose, filled with sweet nectar.21To Orgasm, or Not to Orgasm?That is the question many people ask themselvesduring intercourse.Because you purchased this book, it’s highly probable youwould enjoy seeing your mate experience a “blended orgasm”.And it warrants mentioning here, your display of unselfishnessand caring is commendable. However, while the thought of seeingour mate experience a blended G-Spot/clitoral orgasm may beappealing, we must learn to “walk” before we can “run”.As we learn to “walk”, the first mental step is learning andaccepting that people choose to orgasm. Deciding to orgasm is apersonal choice. No one can “give” or “will” another person anorgasm—no more than you could “will” a stranger to removetheir clothing.We each make individual choices concerning “if” or “when”we will achieve orgasm—often without conscious deliberation ofthe subject. For those who are highly orgasmic, the sheer act ofremoving clothing (or allowing it to be removed) may mark thedecision. For others, the decision may not be concluded untilstimulation or coitus is underway and “the waters are tested”,often mere seconds before orgasm. Others release their reservationsin layers. Like an autumn tree shedding its leaves, theyslowly drop inhibitions, as they grow resoundingly secure andcomfortable with the relationship. And yet others refuse ever torelinquish control, usually from fear of self-humiliation, or toavoid appearing too “wanton” or “loose”.Along the way to making the decision, there are several determiningfactors ensconced within the decision-making process. Inorder to “let go” and orgasm, most people need to feel securewith their partner. We need to feel good about ourselves, safe atthe location, and comfortable with what’s happening to our bodies.22These factors are more prevalent if we’re with a new partneror trying a new experience. While “new” can be exciting, theexcitement is fueled by the suspense of not knowing what toexpect. And because we don’t know what to expect, we reservejudgment until late into the process.All of this is important to consider as you administer the GSpottechnique. As you may recall, one of the four most commondescriptions we receive about the G-Spot experience is: “It feltvery different from previous orgasms”. Because of this, at someunknown point while you’re applying the G-Spot technique, yourpartner will realize something new and very exciting is happeningto her. She will then have to decide whether “to orgasm, or not toorgasm”.Deciding whether or not to reveal the G-Spot technique is upto you. If you tell your mate beforehand of your plans to administerthe G-Spot technique, you may set up to be a victim of“orgasm anxiety” (discussed later). On the other hand, if shesenses something new and unknown is happening to her (whileyou’re applying the G-Spot technique) she may “hold back” anddelay or inhibit the orgasm due to the uncertainty of what she’sfeeling.It’s a catch-22 situation and you should remember this as you go.We recommend that you don’t initially mention your plan toadminister the technique. Instead, be aware that at some pointduring your administration, she will sense this “new and exciting”wave of pleasure building within her. Watch for the signs of heruncertainty. When you see these signs, begin reassuring her thatyou know what’s occurring and understand it. (“I know what’shappening to you. It’s okay. I’m here. Just enjoy what you feel”).The same thinking holds true with blended orgasms. While weencourage the pursuit of blended orgasms, don’t overwhelm herby trying to make the first G-Spot orgasm a “blended G-Spot/clitoral orgasm”. Take it one step at a time. After she growsfamiliar with G-Spot experiences, gaining both confidence andunderstanding, she’ll be better suited (if not eager) to explore thebold world of blended orgasms.23Intimacy 101The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word “intimate” as:“Marked by very close association, contact, or familiarity;marked by a warm friendship; suggesting informal warmth andprivacy; of very private and personal nature.”As illustrated through the above definition, people share intimacywith, not only their lovers or sexual partners, but also withclose friends, family members, and even pets.Since the subject matter of this book deals with inner-couplerelationships, most references to “intimate” or “intimacy” refer tothe bonding, topics of private and personal nature, or the aspectsof carnal knowledge that occur within a relationship.This point is being clarified because it’s important to acknowledgethat intimacy need not be linked to sex. Intimacy is the sharingof one’s innermost feelings and thoughts with someone wetrust. Not only does it erect temporary buffers to the outsideworld, it also provides a brief respite from stress. It staves offloneliness and promotes our self-worth. Conversations are “mindto-mind”; intimacy is “heart-to-heart”.24The Phenomenon of Female EjaculationBeyond intimacy, one other clarification needs to be madebefore we start covering the technique. Modern society tends topropel the myth that G-Spot orgasms and female ejaculation arethe same occurrence. And while the two often do occur together,it’s important to realize they are separate wonders—not one entity.For simplification, we’ll explore this topic through a“question/answer” format:If G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation aren’t the same,what exactly is “Female Ejaculation”?Female ejaculation occurs when a women “ejaculates” fluid(usually different than urine) from her urethra during sexualarousal or orgasm.Where does this fluid come from?Surrounding the urethra and running to the neck of the bladderlies a network of glands, ducts, and nerves called the “Skene’sParaurethral Glands”. As we mentioned earlier, these glands arethe female counterparts to the male prostrate. The Skene’s Glandsare the source of female ejaculate.If it’s not urine, what is this fluid?The fluid is typically described as “clear” or “milky”, havinglittle or no odor, and a sweet taste. However, as with male secretion,the taste may change due to dietary intake or possibly aspart of the menstruation cycleviii.The primary chemical makeup of the fluid is glucose, fructose,prostate specific antigen (PSA) and prostatic acid phosphatase(PAP)ix x xi xii. The fluid may also contain traces of urinexiii.25Interestingly enough, fructose is one of the components presentin male ejaculation. Its primary job is to mobilize the spermatozoa.While it was once believed that male fructose was the sole propellantof spermatozoa, the presence of fructose in female ejaculatewould evidence the contrary. Instead of passively waiting forspermatozoa to “swim” to the egg, the female plays an equallyactive role in the reproduction process by infusing her own fructoseand ushering the spermatozoa’s movement, thus increasing theprobability for successful fertilization.Because of this, we feel the physical purpose of female ejaculationis to aid in the mobilization of spermatozoa. And while itmay not be scientifically proven, it stands to reason that stimulationof the G-Spot and the female prostate may be a beneficialpursuit for couples facing problems with conception.As another interesting note, early forensic medicine checked**** victims (and/or spots on their clothing) for the presence ofacid phosphatase, to prove **** had occurred. Research on femaleejaculate has since proven this test has no forensic value sincefemale ejaculation contains acid phosphatase.What causes female ejaculation?Since the G-Spot encompasses the Skene’s glands and theglands are caressed during G-Spot stimulation, fluid is oftenreleased into the urethra as a result of G-Spot stimulation.However, G-Spot stimulation is not the sole source of ejaculation.Some women ejaculate with stimulation of the clitorisxiv xv.Do all women ejaculate?The evidence is inconclusive on whether all women have theability to ejaculate. If the presence of fructose is designed to playan important role in reproduction, one might hypothesize that allwomen should have the ability to ejaculate, barring those withphysical anomalies, removed Skene’s Glands, disease, or hereditarydisorders. However, in some studies researchers did not noticeexpulsion of fluid during stimulation.26In the Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking, The Ultimate in FemaleEcstasy, author Leonardi states: “…a combination of physicaltechnique and psychological security were absolutely necessaryin order for a woman to have ejaculatory orgasms.” Many of theaccounts in Mr. Leonardi’s book indicate the need for a strongemotional bond to be established prior to successful female ejaculationsxvi.If this is true, it could explain why some laboratorystudies fail, whereas others (conducted in a more natural atmosphere)can often succeed, especially those done by researcherswho willingly provide “in home” examination or testing.(As demonstrated in the 10-step technique, we feel emotionalbonding is a key ingredient to success).It has also been hypothesized that, because many woman arereclined during intercourse or stimulation, the fluid is retrogradeejaculatedinto the bladder and is later released during urination.In The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality, theauthors state: “Some women may experience retrogradeejaculation if the fluid shoots into the bladder rather than out theurethra. xvii ”. This condition might be characterized by awoman feeling a need to urinate after orgasm, but, when doingso, only releasing a small amount of clear or milky fluid.Along these lines, Cabello, author of Female Ejaculation,Myth or Realityxviii, tested the hypothesis that all women mayejaculate, but some may retrograde ejaculate and therefore mightbe unaware of the ejaculation, since the fluid becomes mixedwith urine in the bladder and is later released during urination.Of 212 completed and usable surveys we received in doingresearch for this guide, 48% of women responding reported eitherthey did not ejaculate or were unsure if they had ejaculated. Onthe opposite side of the gamut, 5% reported ejaculating beforeorgasm and 47% reported ejaculating during G-Spot orgasm. Ofthese 110 women who reported ejaculating, 101 reported the incidentwas their first known ejaculation. Eight others stated they hadejaculated in the past, while one woman informed us she commonlyejaculates with stimulation of the breasts, clitoris, and vagina.27A 37-year-old (single) woman reported:“The first time I slept with (name withheld), I thought I’d wetthe bed. It was very embarrassing for me because I really lovedhim and wanted sex to be good for us. And it was good in waysI’d never dreamed of. I’ve been having orgasms regularly since Iwas 16 (years old) but nothing like this had ever happened. I’veslept with 7 different men and always considered my sex life as‘good’ until this orgasm. Now I know what I was missing allthose years. This orgasm was very different and so much deeperand better than the ones I’ve had before. (Name withheld) is adefinite keeper. . .”Another woman reported:“I didn’t know I could ejaculate. I’d heard of other womenejaculating but had no idea that I could do it until my friendapplied your technique. It was quite an experience. . .”Does the ejaculation always occur along with orgasm?No.In a study conducted by M. Zaviacic (et al.) in 1998xix, agroup of 10 women were studied who ejaculate through G-Spotstimulation. Of the 10 women, they found that 2 participants ejaculatedwithin the first 1.5 minutes of stimulation, prior to orgasm.Five other participants ejaculated after 4 to 8 minutes of G-Spotstimulation (again prior to orgasm). And the three remaining participantsejaculated with orgasm, after 10 to 15 minutes of G-Spotstimulation.How much fluid is ejaculated?This is a controversial topic.Most scientific studies gauge the average female ejaculation asranging between “a few drops to one-teaspoonful”— comparableto the average volume of semen ejaculated by males. An exampleof such appears in The G Spot and Other Discoveries AboutHuman Sexuality (recommended reading). The authors state: “In28the cases of female ejaculation observed by Whipple, Perry, andtheir colleagues, only a few drops to about a quarter of a teaspoonwere usually expelledxx.”On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have received reportsof women “drenching the bed” or producing “copious amounts”of fluid. One man had this to say:“She left a wet circle about a foot in diameter. We were bothamazed at how large the spot was. The sheets were saturated.There was no foul odor. No noticeable odor in fact. But the bedwas too drenched to allow comfortable sleep.”Another man said:“Sometimes it just trickles out of her and sometimes it gushesand leaves a big wet spot. It’s great if she’s on top because havingthat warm liquid flow down over my testicles makes me [ejaculate]almost instantly. We don’t mind changing the sheets afterwards.It’s worth it.”Another stated:“This milky liquid squirted out of her and splattered betweenher knees. It left a two-foot long wet streak on the sheets.”And:“She normally ejaculates between one-half cup to one cup.But the first time [she ejaculated] it was more, maybe a cup-anda-half.”And:“About a week after we started using your technique, webought a plastic mattress liner for our bed. You might want torecommend this to other people, along with buying a couple ofextra sets of sheets. Otherwise, the center of the bed gets too wetafter a couple nights of fun.”And:“She literally drenched the bed. When it comes to volume,women put men to shame.”29A woman stated:“I don’t mind washing the wet bedclothes every day. Thisorgasm is worth it.”In Tom Leonardi’s Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking, TheUltimate in Female Ecstasy, several of the interview subjectsindicated “large amounts of the fluid”. On page 114, one suchsubject stated: “And the insides of her thighs were dripping wet. . .”Another said: “She came and she squirted. It hit me in the arm.It hit my arm and I’m not sure where the rest of it went. . . . frommy forearm all the way up near my elbow.”In describing the event, Leonardi states on page 57: “At thevery least, her hot liquid will quickly seep out of her, runningdown her buttocks and off her body. But most likely, the liquidwill physically fly from her vagina—2, 4, 8, even 12 or more inchesfrom her.”The “larger volume” conjecture might also be supported by acustom called kachapati, which was practiced by the Batoro tribeof Uganda, Africa. According to a personal communication fromanthropologist Phil Kilbratenxxi, the kachapati was a rite of passagefor young women emerging from puberty into womanhood.Before these young women were eligible for marriage, the olderwomen of the village taught them how to ejaculate. The termkachapati literally means to “spray the walls”. One might conclude,in order to “spray the walls”, a significant amount of fluid wouldneed to be expelled.So how is it that skilled researchers report only a “teaspoonful”or less while many people claim it’s more?Considering that most female ejaculations occur in dimly lit ornear-dark conditions—and are coupled with the excitement oflovemaking (and perhaps the novelty of a first-time event)—wefeel that some estimates of the fluid amount are exaggerated orover-estimated. In example, if you take a teaspoon of water anddump it onto a flat non-absorbent surface, the water will form acircle approximately 3.5 inches in diameter. If you repeat the30same experiment, but cover the hard surface with an absorbentpiece of material, (such as a cotton bed sheet), the teaspoon ofwater will soak outward and form a circle 8 inches in diameter.Since many mattresses are treated with stain-resistant protectionssuch as ScotchGuard™ and are covered with heavy upholstery thatresists permeation, the bed linens often absorb (and diffuse) thebulk of the liquid. Also, because air can travel through the weaveof many bed linens, the heat quickly dissipates and causes thearea to feel cool and saturated.Some researchers feel that Urinary Stress Incontinence (USI)may also play a role, as urine is sometimes released “as” or“along with” ejaculate, thus increasing the volume. However,other researchers argue against this, claiming that—because it isphysiologically impossible for a man to urinate at the moment oforgasm—the same likely holds true for women. (This latter argumentdoes not account for women ejaculating urine prior toorgasm).What’s it all mean?While the jury is still out on certain aspects of female ejaculation,advancing research has played a valuable role in the advancementand Escort Bayan betterment of women’s health. In the past, many women whodescribed “ejaculations” to their physicians were misdiagnosedwith USI and were often directed to undergo “corrective surgery”for the “problem”. Beyond the embarrassment brought on by their“shameful condition”, some women faced the wrath of a spousewho believed his wife urinated on him during intercourse! Asone can see, the plight of these women was unpleasant.Fortunately, due to groundbreaking research by Addiego,Holoman, Komisaruk, Molcan, Perry, Whipple, Zaviacic,Zaviaciova, and other great researchers, acceptance of femaleejaculation is coming about.31Some Healthy ConsiderationsMost medical doctors agree that the the****utic values of intercoursefar outweigh the risks, provided “safer sex” practices arefollowed. During intercourse, muscles can receive exercise. Stress,stored in the muscle tissue, is released from the body. In addition,the physical stimulation and the movement during both foreplayand intercourse force the heart to beat faster and breathing toincrease. This causes oxygen-enriched blood to be spread throughoutthe body, replenishing cells and feeding muscles.We’ve all likely heard the office water-fountain jokes that “soand-so must have gotten lucky last night” because he or sheseems to glow and is unusually cheerful. These statements mayhave medical validity since, like all forms of exercise, the releaseof stress can brighten our disposition and help make the worldless gloomy and foreboding.When engaging in intercourse, readers are urged to practice“safer sex”. If you’re not familiar with “safer sex” practices, thereare a host of informative books available, such as: SafeEncounters: How Women Can Say Yes to Pleasure and No toUnsafe Sex (B. Whipple and G. Ogden, McGraw Hill, 1989) orSafe Sex in a Dangerous World (A.Ulene, Vintage Books, 1987).Your family physician is also a good learning source. Manyphysicians have educational pamphlets available or can provideinformation on sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and theiravoidance.Contrary to popular belief, the risk of heart attack occurringduring sexual activity is very low. In a study performed withpatients who have suffered heart problemsxxii, only .09% citedsexual activity as the triggering factor. Sexual orgasm has beencompared to “about the same energy required for climbing twoflights of stairs. . . or walking on a treadmill at 3 to 4 miles perhour”xxiii. Compared to many other activities, the risk is low.32If you have a history of heart-related illnesses or other medicalcondition (such as blood pressure or blood sugar irregularities),you should check with your physician to learn safe guidelines.Also, know your partner’s health. It’s a wise practice to discusshis/her health status—any sexual diseases and any other healthconcerns—before engaging in intercourse.33A Brief History of the G-SpotThere’s an adage that states: “To know where you’re going,it’s helpful to know where you’ve been.” This statement holdstrue with the G-Spot. By cultivating a deeper knowledge andunderstanding of the G-Spot’s history, you increase your odds forsuccess using our ten-step technique.We owe a great debt to the visionaries of our world. Not onlyto those who live today, but to those who have come and gone.Throughout time, gallant individuals have seen beyond commonperceptions and silently shouldered the duty of discovering truth.In many cases, after enduring countless hours of research to validatetheir cause, these selfless individuals stepped forth buoyantly todeclare their findings—only to have their hopes bludgeoned byridiculing peers.Christopher Columbus might serve as a fitting example. Atage 14, he became a sailor. For many years, he studied knownmaps of the world; likely doubting the world was “flat” as wascommonly believed. Later, as his theories of a “round world”manifested themselves, he conferred with European scholars(who also believed the world was round). Gaining conviction, heset forth to prove his theory. Yet when he announced plans to sailto the East Indies by crossing the Atlantic toward the west, hewas persecuted by “flat thinking” peers.As we all know, Columbus sailed and prevailed. His ship didnot fall off the edge of a flat Earth and into oblivion. Andalthough he never reached his original destination, he discoveredsomething greater in the process—a bold new uncharted world.Like most great discoveries, the G-Spot and the reality offemale ejaculation both follow a similar history. Throughout history,brave and dutiful visionaries have arisen time-after-time to confirmthe existence of this uncharted sexual continent, often bearing theridicule of skeptical peers in the process. Aristotle may be one of34the earliest recorded examples by observing that women expelfluid during orgasm. In the s*******nth century, a Dutchanatomist Regnier de Graaf described a “female ‘prostatae’ orcorpus glandulosum” which expulsed fluid, enhanced libido, andcaused pleasure. In his findings, he stated: “The function of the‘prostatae’ is to generate pituitoserous juice which makes womenmore libidinous. . .” and “the discharge from the female‘prostatae’ causes as much pleasure as does that from the male‘prostatae’.xxiv ”Long after Regnier de Graaf’s work, Alexander Skene, M. D.,George Caldwell, M. D. , John W. Huffman, M. D., SamuelBerkow, M. D., and several others individually studied theseglands and/or female ejaculations and released their own findings.At the end of World War II, a German gynecologist and obstetriciannamed Ernst Gräfenberg collaborated with an Americangynecologist and obstetrician by the name of Robert L.Dickinson, M. D. In 1950, Gräfenburg wrote about “…an eroticzone could always be demonstrated on the anterior wall of thevagina along the course of the urethra…xxv”. According to thefindings, this erogenous zone swelled when stimulated and“swells out greatly at the end of orgasm.”In the 1970’s, while treating women suffering from UrinaryStress Incontinence (USI), John D. Perry, Ph.D, and BeverlyWhipple, R. N., Ph.D, made an important discovery that led themto the G-Spot. Typically, women suffering from USI have weakor atrophied pelvic muscles. The strength of these muscles can bemeasured through biofeedback and can be strengthened by teachingwomen Kegel exercises (a technique for strengthening thePubococcygeus or “PC” muscle). However, Perry and Whipplediscovered that some of the women who supposedly sufferedfrom USI had very strong pelvic muscles. Furthermore, thesesame women with strong pelvic muscles often stated the onlytime they (accidentally) lost fluid through their urethra wasduring intercourse.Much like Columbus’s epic journey, setting forth for theIndies and discovering America instead, Dr. Perry and Dr.35Whipple discovered their own land of milk and honey, which theyaptly named “The Gräfenburg Spot” in honor of Dr. ErnstGräfenburg’s early research.At the 1980 national meeting of the American Association ofSex Educators, Counselors and Ther****ts, and the 1980 internationalmeeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex,Perry and Whipple presented their findings about the G-Spot andFemale Ejaculation. Later, in 1982, along with Alice Kahn Ladas,they published a book explaining The Gräfenburg Spot, FemaleEjaculation, the Importance of Healthy Pelvic Muscles, and NewUnderstandings of the Human Orgasm. This popular long-standingbook is titled The G Spot and Other Discoveries About HumanSexuality and is still in print as of this writing.Since the release of The G Spot and Other Discoveries AboutHuman Sexuality, more has been learned about the G-Spot andfemale ejaculations. As each new doorway to knowledge isunlocked and opened, we find yet more another doorway awaiting.The more we learn, the more mysteries await us. History unfoldswhile no one is watching.36The TechniqueLet’s get started!Okay. Now that you know a little about the G-Spot, you’reprobably wondering how you can test the G-Spot techniquefirst-hand.Let me commend you if you’ve read through this far andhaven’t skipped ahead. One of the most frequent complaintswomen voice about poor lovers is having a partner with “vaginalobjective”. This “vaginal marksman” wants to kiss once or twice,perhaps then fondle the breasts, then skip any other delays andmove right toward the clitoris or vagina. If you’ve taken the timeto read this far, you’re likely not a “Vaginal Marksman”. (Theyare now reading “step 10” and will have to back up, re-read, andlikely will never get this straight. A year from now they’ll be theones responsible for rumors that the G-Spot doesn’t exist). You,on the other hand, will find the truth since you have displayed thetwo most important attributes to actually being successful in helpingyour lover achieve a G-Spot orgasm. These are: patience andself-control.Stop for a moment and look at the big picture in logical terms:if the G-Spot orgasm were something easy to achieve and couldbe stumbled upon, nearly every woman on the planet would knowwhat it is and how to do it. Right? Most would have found thisspot (as they do their clitoris, during exploratory masturbation), andwould be enjoying its pleasures. But as we know, nothing couldbe further from the truth. Even in this day and age, the G-Spot is stillarcane, obscure, misunderstood, and a topic of curiosity.As evidence of this, we will look at an internet educationalservice called KISISS (Kinsey Institute Sexuality InformationService for Students). KISISS allows Indiana University studentsto ask questions about sex in an anonymous fashion. After each37question is answered, both the question and answer are posted forother site users to read. Interestingly enough, at the time of thiswriting, the #1 most frequently read question is: “What is the GSpotand Where Can I Find it?xxvi” . The sheer fact that collegeuniversity students (and visitors) read this question more than anyother question lends us insight. Clearly, it shows that the G-Spotis still a mystery.Like dark ships passing on a night sea, most people repeatedlyoverlook the G-Spot. As many women pass through life, theymature, explore their own bodies, masturbate, have intercourse,bear c***dren, and often never find their own G-Spot. All thesame time, the partners who shared in the lovemaking have alsooverlooked this special spot.Beyond this, up until two decades ago, many of the very doctorswho examine women daily (gynecologists and obstetricians)were unsure of the G-Spot’s existence.In the defense of these physicians, we should consider that (1)the G-Spot cannot be seen without dissection of the anterior vaginawall and (2) it is virtually unnoticeable until stimulated. Sincegynecologists and obstetricians are not in the practice of stimulatingtheir patients, it stands to reason they would fail to notice the spot.With all this in mind, if you truly want to find the elusive G-Spotand help your partner feel the absolute best orgasm she’s everfelt—a spasming, screaming-and-thrashing-in-ecstasy G-Spotorgasm—you’ll need to have patience and self-control.Follow the 10 Steps implicitly. After you learn and becomefamiliar with the G-Spot orgasm, you’ll be able to use the techniquevery quickly and effectively to help your lover produce resultsmuch of the time. But like any worthwhile endeavor, the techniquetakes practice. The more you do it, the quicker you’ll learn toidentify certain “signs” given by the female body that allow youto move on to the next step of the process.The same is true of your partner. If you have a steady sex partner,after she loses her G-Spot virginity she will also learn to readher body signs and will be able to hit the G-Spot climax sooner,and in a wide variety of positions.38Step 1PrimingAlthough it’s possible to help a woman achieve a G-Spotorgasm on the first sexual encounter, the surest bet is with steadypartners who are familiar and comfortable together. This isbecause of emotional qualities. In order to fully let go, manywomen need to feel safe, loved, and secure with their partners’sexual prowess and understanding.Recommendation number one: As was said earlier, it’s wisenot to mention the G-Spot orgasm to your partner. If you tell heryou want to “try something new” you’ll be fostering expectationsin her that may be counter-productive when you actually getdown to lovemaking. She’ll feel the need to “perform” withoutunderstanding the details. Therefore, she will be apprehensive andedgy—when it’s helpful to be exactly the opposite: relaxed andcomfortable.Instead of telling your lover about your covert plan, set up theopportunity to “show” her. Sit down with your lover and tell herthat you’d love to take her out for dinner or a movie, then returnhome and spend the evening making slow passionate love. Besure to mention the second part of this plan so your lover doesn’tget the wrong impression—that the two of you are going to spendthe evening out together. This will do two things for you. One,your lover will appreciate your candor and the romance of thegesture; two, it will prime her for lovemaking. If your relationshipis fair or better, she’ll probably be thinking about the lovemakinglong before you order supper or choose a movie.Beyond this preparation, be sure to groom yourself prior toyour date. Because much of this technique involves stimulation ofthe vagina, be sure your fingernails are short, clean, and smoothto avoid damaging the soft tissues of her body. Wear your favoritecologne. Look and feel your best.39Step 2ForeplayAfter you wine and dine her, talk about old times and those tocome, perhaps give her flowers, brush the spinach out of yourteeth from dinner, maybe slow dance in the living room and eventuallywork your way to the bedroom, be sure to remind her ofhow beautiful she is and how much you enjoy being with her.Boost the intimacy. Talk to her. Remember that for many women,foreplay is mainly emotional. Spend lots of time on the emotionalbonding. Strengthen your relationship and bond with her.40Step 3More ForeplayMost likely, with a few more kisses, some light petting, andadditional compliments, the two of you will be stripping eachother as if your clothes are on fire—falling into the bed togetheras if it were the only pool of water in the world. And this is whenyou need to gently take control. If this is your steady partner andyou’ve primed her the week before your “date”, she’ll likely bewet and ready to fall into your standard lovemaking. Seize controlby telling her you want to “take it slow” this time. Remind herthat you want to make slow love to her—that you want to spendsome time pleasing and savoring her and making her feel loved.She’ll love you for that. Ask her to lie back and make herselfcomfortable. Remind her that you love her and remind her howbeautiful you think she is. If she has beautiful breasts, tell her so.If it’s her eyes, her long legs, or her full sensual lips that you like,tell her so. Praise is a key element within any relationship. Itcosts nothing to give but can be priceless when received. It helpsus maintain a healthy image and self-worth while making us feelrespected, desirable, and loved. If you love your partner, praiseher. Tell her what you love about her; not just her physical beauties,but her emotional qualities, skills, or whatever it is you truly admire.By doing this, you’re promoting a deep sense of intimacy andcomfort while keeping her aroused. Kiss her. Nibble on her lips.Kiss her throat, the lobe of her ears, her eyelids—all of which arevery erotic and arousing spots for the majority of women.In the case of most women, by the time you’ve spent a fewminutes kissing all about her face, nibbling the lips, kissing theeyelids, perhaps blowing in her ear, and dragging your lips overher neck and down to her shoulders, you’ll probably notice herbeginning to inch upward or pressing your face toward herbreasts. . . arching her back. If she’s forward, she may seek you41out with her hand or guide your hand to her breast. She may eventell you she wants you—but don’t sell off the million-dollarorgasm that cheaply. A critical element here is keeping all yourattention, physical and emotional, focused at breast level or above.42Step 4TeasingSo here you are, in bed together, probably naked by this point,very aroused and ready. You’ve (both) been thinking about thismoment ever since you first mentioned the evening out. This isthe part where both patience and self-control are beginning tocome into play—don’t sell yourself short and give in!Lavish her with kisses. If she enjoys having her neck kissed,by all means oblige. If she enjoys breast stimulation, nuzzle andfondle and tease her breasts. At this point you can “bend” the ruleof focusing all attention at the breast level (and above) by rubbingher stomach. This is an important step in the arousal process. Thepurpose of this step is to increase blood flow in the pelvic area.Work your hand back and forth across her stomach and down herabdomen very slowly. You don’t want her to think you’re targetingthe vulva, so move slowly and randomly until you’ve reached thearea just above the pubic hairline. Absolutely DON’T drop yourhand any lower—even if she tries to move it there—even if shetells you she wants you and starts pulling you toward her.The reason you don’t want to touch any lower than theabdomen (yet) is because it breaks the bond you’re working tobuild. Some women have experienced the “vagina marksman”and may be emotionally turned off when interest is transferred tothe vagina (if done too soon). When this occurs, it often signifiesthe “end” of the bonding process and the “beginning” of sex. Itcan flick as quickly as a light switch. The mist of enchantment lifts.Continue to nuzzle her breasts, kiss her, nibble at her neck, orwhatever shows your love. Your goal is to continue increasing theemotional bond between you, and she will u*********sly giveyou signs as the strength of the bond deepens. Remember—you’re about to provide the stimulus for an orgasm that is unlikeanything she’s ever felt. In order to reach it, she’ll be slowlytransferring her trust to you. She’ll need to feel cherished, safe,and adored in order to do so without holding back.43As you nuzzle at her breasts, kiss her neck, nibble her ears, orwhatever it is that turns her on, you are watching for two “goahead” signs before moving to step five. The first is the mostimportant. You must continue stimulation until she is virtuallysmashing your head into her chest, breathing heavily, tugging atyou as if she’s trying to pull you inside her. Once you becomeaware of this, start watching (or sensing) for the second sign:movements in her hips. The hips never lie. . . and you want herthrusting them upward. If she’s not thrusting, arching, or twistingher hips, she’s not ready. So continue nuzzling and sucking at herbreasts or otherwise stimulating her until her hips move. If needbe, move your hand a little lower on her abdomen to brush theupper edge of the pubic hair as you rub. Before long, both ofthese signs will come.44Step 5The “Go Ahead” SignOnce you have the two “go ahead” signs of arching hips andtugging, absolutely don’t break contact with her breasts, chest orface. Keep your head and face at chest level or above. This givesthe unspoken message that “you’re still with her”—not merelymoving on to focus on her vagina and get your next lay.With the hand you’ve been using to massage her abdomen,slowly trace down to rub her upper and inner thighs—again,without touching the vagina and setting off the “vagina marksman”alarm. If you’d like, reach around and squeeze the lowerhalf of either buttock in a teasing way. Massage the muscles gently;working the flesh actually tugs at the edge of the vulva, helpingto open the labia and helping her become more ready and wanton.This massage also increases blood flow in the pelvis, arousingand heightening sensitivity.Trace your fingers up and down her thighs, provocativelycircling her “magic triangle”. Brushing the edges will ensure herhips continue to thrust.Above all, remember to focus on her and hold the emotionalbond you’ve established.45Step 6HoveringBy now she should be thrusting her hips wantonly and movingin a way to actually encourage you to touch her vagina. If she’sbold, she may try to massage herself or try to guide your hand (orother part) to the area. However, don’t let her. If necessary remindher lovingly that you want to spend more time just touching andsavoring her. If she wants to massage herself, encourage her tomassage her breasts. Moreover, encourage her simply to just lieback and enjoy.Your next step will be to move your hand above her womanhoodand hover it there, just brushing the tips of the pubic hair. If she’sreally aroused, this will drive her absolutely crazy. She’ll senseyour hand and the heat of your hand and should impulsively archher hips toward your hand. Expect this reaction and raise yourhand to avoid contact.While hovering, you may even tug at the hair lightly. You neednot tease her in this way for more than 2 or 3 minutes, but be sureto allow your hand to hover above her womanhood long enoughfor her to show some type of acknowledgment—even if that’sonly a moan.Many women harbor inhibitions about being verbal or displayingtheir sexual needs or desire. The underlying significance of the“hovering” is two-fold. Not only does it increase your lover’sarousal, but it also encourages her to react and helps to breakthrough any inhibitions she may be struggling with. It should beabundantly clear that you are deliberately (almost mercilessly)teasing her, searching for a reaction, and this gives her a justifiablereason to react without compromising her ego or sacrificing dignity.You’ve compelled, almost forced, her to react. And for many46women, once they have reacted the first time and break the barrier,it’s easier and acceptable to react again.After you’ve hovered and received a reaction, allow your fingersto trace up and down the flesh on either side of her vagina.By saying “flesh”, we do not mean the labia but rather themounds on either side of the vulva. Touch it very lightly. This isan extension of the tease and should further fuel the fires of arousal.Continue this for a while and slowly change the feather-lighttouches into a soft massage. Few people realize there are muscleson either side of the vaginal opening, so take a little time andgently massage these muscles, relaxing them.After you’ve massaged these muscles for a moment, trace hervagina with your fingers, using a finger on either side of her vaginato lightly pull back and spread open the labia. The labia are avery sensitive and erogenous area, yet many women report theyare overlooked during lovemaking. So spend a little time here,flattening the genital lips and tracing them with your fingertips.Gently tug at them and spread them open. This sense of the vaginabeing “open” will often trigger a high “vaginal craving”, andshe’ll want that void filled.If you’d like, you may even stroke the clitoris lightly—butdon’t linger there as the clitoris can be very disruptive to firsttimeG-Spot orgasms. If you’ve thought of the clitoris as the primarystimulus point for a woman, you’ll want to re-train yourthinking. From this point on, think of the G-Spot as the mainstimulation and the clitoris as either a “booster” or a secondarystimulus. Remember that the women polled report that G-Spotorgasms are significantly more intense than clitoral orgasms, bothin duration and fulfillment.As we discussed earlier, “blended orgasms” are an exceptionto this rule and will certainly warrant future exploration. But fortonight, this special first night, we’ll avoid the clitoris unless shereally needs an extra boost.In some ways, the G-Spot and the clitoris are likeinternal/external counterparts. G-Spot virgins, who have spent alifetime thinking of their clitoris as their primary stimulation,47may get so involved trying to give themselves a clitoral orgasmthat they lose track of the G-Spot stimulation you’re trying tobuild. While it has not been scientifically proven, our belief isthat “single-task” persons can only focus on one form of internalstimulation. . .just as they can only focus on one form of externalstimulus at a time. Logical thinking would lead to the conclusionthat “multi-taskers” are more likely to succeed at blendedorgasms.Whether or not this is the case, we advise you try to keep yourlover away from her own clitoris for this night. Touch it enoughto tease, and then move on.Bear in mind through this whole process, never break contactwith her breasts or above. . . returning frequently to kiss her lipsand ward off her advances if she tries to pull you onto her.48Step 7Locating her G-SpotBy now there should be no doubt she’s ready. She should bemoaning (at least quietly), thrashing her hips, arching her back,and urging you on. And as you finally dip your finger into thatmoist warm wetness, your patience and self-control will be testedto their maximum endurance. But don’t give up. . . you’realmost there!Slide your finger into her very slowly—dipping in very shallowat first to allow your finger to become moist—pulling out anddipping in again. As you do this, dip a little deeper each time,keeping light pressure on the front wall of the vagina—all thewhile be careful not to scratch those sensitive folds of velvet witha fingernail.When touching a woman, many lovers make the error ofplunging a finger as deeply into the vagina as possible and wigglingthe member around, not realizing that aside from the hiddenG-Spot, most of the sensitive nerves lie within the first two inchesof the vagina’s throat. Hence, the adage: It’s not what you’ve gotbut how you use it. So don’t make the error of plunging. Yourgoal here is to tantalize the outer nerve endings while allowingyour finger to become sufficiently lubricated to visit hidden depths.If your partner is not well lubricated, you may want to use asuitable lubricant. Her being “dry” does not mean she is not aroused.Diet, hormonal levels, medications, and menstrual cycle can allaffect vaginal lubrication. Wetness is not a valid gauge of arousal.Finally, slide your index finger into her, skimming the upperwall. This is the critical process of locating the G-Spot, so whileyou’re still kissing her, teasing her nipples or sucking her breasts,concentrate for a moment on what your finger encounters.49Study the following diagram. This may help you better understandthe location of the G-Spot when the time comes.With most women, about one-and-one-half inches inside,you’ll feel a slightly textured area of skin (it feels somewhat thesame as the roof of your mouth). Just beyond this textured area isthe G-Spot, hidden in what feels like a “valley”. If you go too farand pass the G-Spot, you’ll feel a smooth “plateau” that is flat foran inch or two, then curves inward toward the cervix opening(which is also a very erotic spot if caressed lightly—although it ishard to reach).If you go too far and reach this plateau, back up to the bottomof the “valley” and rub the down-slope between the valley and theedge of the textured area.50In most cases, the G-Spot feels like a small bean or a verysmall nipple. At other times it can’t be sensed at all. Just likebreasts or nipples, some women have small G-Spots and othershave larger ones. (The former is especially true of postmenopausalwomen).Once you’ve found the G-Spot (or are in the vicinity where itshould be, if it can’t be felt), begin rubbing very lightly in a circularmanner, at the rate of about one revolution per second. Thepressure you apply should begin with about the same degree ofpressure you would use to write your name on a steam-foggedmirror. You can use one finger, or two, whichever feels most comfortableto you and best matches the size of your partner.51Step 8Stimulating the G-SpotOkay, you’re finally there, rubbing the G-Spot. . .so why isn’tanything happening?When you first touch the G-Spot, don’t be surprised if youdon’t get an immediate reaction, just continue rubbing betweenthe bottom of the valley and the back edge of the “textured” area.In most cases, women will make comments such as “that feelsgood” or “stay right there” or “that feels so different”. But if youdon’t get any response at all, don’t panic. Think of the G-Spot asbeing similar to the nipple. When you first touch a nipple it issoft and only relatively sensitive. But as blood flows to the areaand the nipple grows erect and aroused, the sensitivity increasesin a dramatic flourish. The G-Spot is much the same. As youbegin to caress it in a slow, circular manner, you will soon feelthe area swell. It may become more porous and have an almostgrainy feel. And it will most definitely become very sensitive.If the G-Spot is massaged without prior arousal, many womenfind it uncomfortable. This is one of the key reasons that somepeople fail to find the G-Spot. Half-hearted pioneers often searchfor a spot that gives a woman great pleasure. Yet if these seekersblindly happen upon the G-Spot (without proper arousal) thewoman may report minor discomfort or an “uncomfortable feeling”,steering them away. This is an important point to rememberin the future. If you try to move through the G-Spot techniquefaster in the future and skip over steps, the G-Spot may not beproperly aroused when you reach it. Always follow the steps andwatch for the “go ahead” signs from your partner as you movefrom one step to the next.Rhythm is the absolute key here. As long as you maintain asteady rhythm, slow-building “waves” of ecstasy begin to wash52in. Each wave that comes will be a little higher in intensity thanthe previous, and they will begin to cascade and surge faster andfaster, until a point is reached that, just as one wave is beginningto fade, the next is already swelling.If a women tries to stimulate her own G-Spot, her proclivity isoften to stroke the area faster and firmer (and faster yet) as thewaves grow more intense, trying to “force” a wave to crest andbreak over into the undying ecstasy she senses just beyond. Theproblem is, she can over-stimulate the G-Spot and inhibit theorgasm. This is critical knowledge to consider when you hearyour lover’s pleas to move faster or firmer. Be cautious about givingin. Maintain a slow even rhythm at first.On the other hand, if you’ve been stimulating her G-Spot forten minutes (or longer) at the one-revolution-per-second techniqueand she can’t “crest over”, it may be time to try a differenttouch. Remember that all women are different. Some women doneed a slightly firmer touch. For others, a side-to-side or up-anddownfinger movement is more effective than a circular one.Some women prefer stimulation with one finger while others prefertwo or more. For yet others, slight variations in the speed aremore effective. . . or a combination of any of these factors. This iswhere practice, judgment, and experimentation will come intoplay. We first recommend using the circular, light, one-revolutionper-second method. Our research has shown that it is the mosteffective. When many lovers were urged to move faster or firmerand the demand was obliged, the orgasm often faded instead ofgrowing. When the original slow and light touch was resumed,success soon followed.The good news is, there appears to be a “point of no return”with G-Spot orgasms. After her first experience, your lover willlikely (ardently) convey this to you. Once she reaches the pointwhere “waves” of pleasure are building and cascading rapidly, theorgasm becomes nearly inevitable.We asked one woman if she could stop a clitoral or vaginalorgasm from occurring. She replied: “Why, yes. Certainly.” In discussingher G-Spot experience, the same woman stated: “I53reached a point where I couldn’t stop it from coming, even if Iwanted to!”When you finally get to witness the extreme ecstasy of yourlover thrashing and screaming in the throes of pure ecstasy, it’svery difficult not to become excited yourself and begin rubbing atthe G-Spot with great enthusiasm. When some lovers see theirpartner in such ecstasy—especially if she has her first (visible)ejaculation—they often experience orgasm themselves. However,if you can maintain control and keep up the G-Spot stimulation,her orgasm may continue perpetually. This is how some couplesstate they can maintain an orgasm for up to 20 or more minutes!One couple even reported an orgasm that lasted 40 minutes andonly stopped because neither partner could stand any more.54Step 9The “Big-O” Draws NearEven if your partner hasn’t mentioned it yet, at this point sheis likely aware that something quite different from a vaginal/clitoralorgasm is beginning to grow inside her. She may even feel someapprehension because of not knowing what’s happening. So asyou continue to stroke the G-Spot, be sure to reassure her thatyou are there, with her, in support of her, and remind her that youlove her. Tell her of how beautiful she is and how much youenjoy taking this time to bring her pleasure. Not only will thismake her feel emotionally safe and secure and help her climaxsooner, it will also help her relax and lessen any guilt she mayfeel because of all the unselfish time you’re spending. If she complainsabout feeling guilty, tell her you’ll gladly let her return thefavor another time, but tonight belongs to her.In most cases, aside from the initial, slight swelling of the G-Spot,you won’t notice any changes inside the vagina. When dealingwith women who are new to the G-Spot orgasm, you’ll often findthe muscles in your forearm begin to burn before you feel thefirst vaginal contraction squeezing against your finger. Most ofour survey respondents state “20 minutes” of G-Spot stimulationwas required the first time. So again, it’s time to utilize thatpatience and self-control. You haven’t come this far to stop now.And if you do stop now, you’ll likely disappoint your lover (whois aware of this massive ecstasy burgeoning inside her).As the G-Spot orgasm grows near—The Big-O—the firstthing you’ll notice is a constricting of the vagina that begins withone of her “waves”. With the next wave the vagina will constrictagain, fade, then quickly return with the next wave, building andbuilding to a point where the vagina is so perpetually constrictedthe muscles often spasm and quiver. Sometimes, the constrictingis so tight it will eject your finger! About the same time you55notice the first constriction, you’ll also likely notice a greatersense of wetness. In fact, some women become very wet, to thepoint the suction of the finger causes slurping noises and a clearfluid actually begins to weep from the vagina. As we discussedearlier, this is the wonder of female ejaculation.If this occurs, you may notice the consistency of this fluiddiffers from the normal milky lubricant produced by the vagina.Your finger may loose it’s slickness, and since the area is sosensitive, you may want to pause and quickly apply an approvedsexual lubricant. Have some lubricant available before things getstarted. As a general rule, the slicker your finger stays, the better.56Step 10You’re There!You’re there! As the wetness increases, the vagina will beginto convulse violently. As we mentioned, some women constrict sohard it forces the finger out of the vagina! By this time yourlover will undoubtedly be thrashing wildly and screaming “Don’tStop! Don’t Stop! Oh, God don’t Stop!” or “Faster! Faster!Faster!” But regardless of how frantic your lover becomes,regardless of how excited you get by watching her ecstasy, try tocontrol your motions.As she finally crests over the top, most women will scream. Itdiffers from the normal orgasm scream, being more of a guttural“expelling” sound rather than the gasping breaths of standardorgasms. If you can picture the grunting scream of a woman givingbirth, her head hunched forward, clenching her knees, you’re onthe right track. . . and at the same moment she cries out, if shehasn’t already done so she may ejaculate. This is especially trueof G-Spot virgins. While it defies the findings of scientificresearch, many of our respondents mention the first G-Spotorgasm as the “wettest”—almost as if the fluid has been lockedup for years and you’re opening the dam, setting it free.Our theory is that many of these couples simply don’t “work”as hard on subsequent sessions as they did during the first G-Spotexperience. Emotional bonding or the duration of stimulation mayalso play roles in determining the volume of fluid produced and57the intensity of the orgasm. While these subjects are worthy offuture exploration, they need not detain us here.At this point, simply keep your finger moving until your loverasks you to stop or the orgasm fades. Typically, she will ride thatwave for one or two full minutes, and the orgasm will lessen.When you see this event, you will be completely rewarded forall your “work”. Just watching her writhe and knowing the intensepleasure you are helping to provide is a great reward in itself.Most men will want to join her as they sense this wave fading.The change from a finger to a swollen penis may delight her. . .and by this point, having watched her thrash and scream, feelingthe warm wetness on your finger and hand, your self-control willlikely be gone. So as long as she’s willing, jump in and enjoy theorgasm with her. Feeling a wet, contracting vagina sucking at thepenis can be an experience neither of you forget!58AfterwardsThe Little DeathDirectly after the orgasm, a few women pass through a phasecalled “the little death”. This phase is a 5 to 10 second period inwhich the woman may appear to faint and/or seems to stopbreathing. If this occurs, don’t panic. Women who have passedthrough “the little death” frequently state they were so overwhelmedwith pleasure they “floated in delirium” for a brief period.Other women may have a tendency to “pant” briefly before orduring the orgasm, resulting in either hyperventilation orhypoventilation. In either case, a combination of the tremendousrelease of stress, sudden slowing of the heart, and a re-directionof oxygen-rich (or suddenly depleted) blood cells can bring about“the little death”.After 5 or 10 seconds, your lover should dreamily open hereyes. When you ask if she’s okay—and you should—she’ll likelytell you everything is fine, that she was simply enjoying themoment.If your partner does actually faint and remains unresponsivefor more than 15 or 20 seconds, you may have a medical emergencyon your hands and should contact medical assistance immediately.Again, as a responsible party, it is your duty to know your partner’shealth status before engaging in sexual activity.59Sharing the ExperienceIn one survey, we asked women to express how they felt aftertheir G-Spot experience. Women responding to this survey wereinstructed to indicate such by either “writing in” a comment or bychoosing among (one or more) multiple-choice selections.Of these respondents, an overwhelming 97% indicated feeling“Joyous/Elated” after their first G-Spot experience. Other leadinganswers were: “Lovey/Romantic”(89%), “Thankful” (84%), and“Satiated/Fulfilled” (82%).While the vast majority of responses and comments were veryfavorable, an average of 47% also indicated feeling “embarrassment”and/or “curiosity” intermixed with other feelings. A few(3%), cited their feelings of embarrassment Bayan escort stemmed frombecoming too “verbal” or “expressive” during the sexual episode.Yet a much larger group stated the embarrassment arose from fearthey had “wet the bed” or “lost bladder control” during orgasm.In some of these cases, women stated they had no ideafemales could ejaculate and therefore concluded they had “wetthe bed”. In other cases, women indicated awareness that “other”women could ejaculate, but previously considered themselves“non-ejaculators”.One tell-tale comment we frequently received was:“I knew other women could ejaculate, but I didn’t know I could.”As conscientious partners, it’s important to be aware of thisinformation. If your lover ejaculates during G-Spot stimulation,she may fear she has “wet the bed” and may hide or avoiddiscussing her “problem” due to personal embarrassment.Undoubtedly, she will feel bad about herself and equally bad60about what’s happened, even if the experience brought her greatpleasure.To thwart any hidden tensions from festering and rearing theirheads in the future, be sure to talk openly with your partner aboutyour first mutual G-Spot adventure. Discuss the phenomenon offemale ejaculation. Learn how she feels about it: what she knows,or doesn’t know. Reassure her that female ejaculations are physiologicallynormal. Reaffirm that they are natural and shouldn’t bea source of embarrassment. Be open and honest. If you enjoyedit, tell her so. If it excited you, tell her so. If you’re ready to goagain, tell her so. Promote sexual expression. Explore. Try newpositions. Be creative. Make it fun and loving.Above all, make it good for both of you.61Self-ApplicationIn today’s market, there are many available sex-toys designedto stimulate the G-Spot. Among these toys are vibrating eggs(that can be inserted into the vagina), weighted balls that areinserted and worn inside the vagina (during common or sexualactivities), and curved vibrators specifically designed to reach theG-Spot.However, women do not need toys to enjoy what the G-Spotcan offer. Self-stimulation is possible after finding a position thatcomfortably allows access.While a few women can manage to self-stimulate in a reclinedor supine position, most will find a squatted or sitting (with kneesapart) position more accommodating.Why? The answer is simple. Though it may be more comfortable“lying down”, reaching the G-Spot (while in this position)requires a very flexible wrist, long fingers, and a short vagina.There is also a second benefit to the “squatted” or “sitting”position. Upon first-time stimulation of the G-Spot, some womenfeel a sudden sensation of needing to urinate (discussed later inthe “Problem Shooting” section). This can occur even if thewoman has recently emptied her bladder.To assuage the worry of accidental urination, we recommendself-stimulating while either squatted in the bathtub or seated onthe toilet. These positions allow G-Spot access without the fear of“accidents”. In addition, lubrication can be freely used, againwithout the worry of creating a “mess”.When self-stimulating, take as much time as needed to heightenarousal levels. Whether it’s reading a sexy story, fantasizing,playing with sex toys, or simply massaging the breasts and body,do whatever raises your arousal and makes you feel that “ache”or “emptiness” within your vagina.62Once the vaginal craving begins to mount, you may beginexploring for the magic spot described in the earlier steps. At firsttouch the G-Spot may produce only mild pleasure. This is normal.However, as you continue to massage the area it will beginto swell and become more prominent.Some women report that pushing down on the pelvis, justabove the pelvic bone, helps in locating the G-Spot. When youbelieve you’ve located your special spot, move slowly. Whetheryou’re using one finger or two, we recommend moving your fingersin a slow, lazy circle, as if you were tracing the rim of anickel. Experiment. Try a light pressure at first, then a firmertouch. Tease yourself as you go. Make it deliciously slow and torturous.And above all, don’t overlook the pleasure you feel alongthe way by rushing to the destination. Make the journey along theG-Spot pathway erotic and pleasing.63Exploring Other PossibilitiesBefore we expound on this topic, take a moment and congratulateyourself again. Stemming from the newly acquired knowledgeyou’ve gained from your investment in this book, you’ll findyourself constantly aware of the G-Spot during all phases of foreplayand lovemaking. And because of this awareness, you andyour partner will quickly learn to adjust and angle yourselves topromote G-Spot stimulation and derive greater pleasure duringnormal intercourse—something you would have never imaginedprior to reading this book.“How can a man derive more pleasure due to the G-Spot?”one might ask.If you’re male and you’ve seen a G-Spot orgasm, the answerto this question is blatantly obvious. For most males, the thoughtof having the penis inside a wet, spasming, tightly contractingvagina during G-Spot orgasm has unlimited appeal. And as youand your partner grow more familiar with the G-Spot, you maysoon be able to cultivate G-Spot orgasms using the penis.As an added benefit, as your partner grows more familiar andcomfortable with G-Spot orgasms, she’ll be able to attain themwith greater speed, more reliability, and in a variety of coitalpositions, thus including the G-Spot in other realms of lovemaking,forging ahead toward blended orgasms.“So where should we start?” you might ask.As we mentioned in a previous section, there are a variety ofsex toys available for stimulating the G-Spot. Most of these canbe used by couples, as well as by oneself. Beyond the joys thesetoys offer, couples can also experiment with G-Spot-friendlycoital positions.“What are G-Spot-friendly coital positions?”64These are sexual positions that promote contact between theG-Spot and the penis. While there are a variety of G-Spot-friendlypositions, the favored position is commonly referred to as“woman on top” position. In this position, the male lies on hisback with legs slightly parted and extended flat. The female thenstraddles him, facing forward. This position is favorable becauseit is “face-to-face” and allows expression, kissing, nuzzling, andstimulation of the breasts during intercourse. It also allows thewoman to angle her hips so the penis contacts her G-Spot. Byleaning forward or backward, the woman can adjust the pressureof the penis against the G-Spot.A second G-Spot-friendly position is a variation of the “missionaryposition”. By placing a thick pillow (or two pillows)beneath the buttocks of the female (so she’s lying with headdown-hill), the penis will contact the G-Spot during entry.G-Spot/penis contact also occurs (in the missionary position)when the male kneels of sits on folded knees, with his bodyupright of nearly upright. Or if the female places her calves orankles on the male’s shoulders as he enters her.Another position is “doggy-style”. If the male stands and thefemale bends at the waist at a partial angle (such as leaning forwardwith the hands braced against a wall) the underside of thepenis will contact the G-Spot. For couples who are near the sameheight and enjoy sex in the shower, this is a very friendly position.However, the angle depends greatly on the male’s penis.While some penises stand straight out during erection (at a 90degree angle to the body), others tend to stand more upright withthe penis head near the abdomen. In the case of the latter, thewoman must stand nearly erect (or the man must lean forward)for G-Spot contact to be made.Beyond these, there are numerous other positions that are GSpotfriendly. One couple reported their favorite position is withthe woman sitting atop the washing machine, while the manstands facing her. They stated that during the spin cycle, themachine caused her G-Spot and vagina to vibrate against hispenis, bringing both of them great pleasure and multiple climaxes.They also stated that if she faced the washer and leaned forward,65the machine would vibrate against her clitoris while he enteredher from behind.Another couple stated they enjoy using a thin G-Spot vibratorwith ample lubrication. As the woman neared climax, she wouldwithdraw the vibrator and move it to her clitoris as her spouseentered her, allowing them to climax together.Endless possibilities abound as you and your partner explore.And as you sample each pleasure, remember to also savor whatyou feel along the way. Take time and make it fun. Enjoy whatthe G-Spot can offer both of you.66Problem ShootingPain or DiscomfortIf at any point your lover expresses pain while stimulating hervagina or G-Spot, stop the stimulation and schedule an appointmentwith her gynecologist. Although the G-Spot can cause veryslight discomfort if massaged when not aroused, it should notcause true pain.If she expresses feeling minor discomfort, try applying anapproved sexual lubricant to prevent irritating the G-Spot’s surface.Be sure you’re not rubbing the surface to vigorously. Also,be sure your fingernails are smooth and cut short.If she still feels pain or discomfort, she may suffer from amedical condition such as endometriosis, pelvic inflammatorydisease, or a host of other potential causes. So a check-up withthe gynecologist is in order.67Inability to Reach OrgasmIn rare cases, women simply can’t attain the G-Spot orgasm.They’ll reach a point were they are close, where the “waves” arebuilding and fading and building and fading, but they simplycan’t crest over. This may be a physical problem but is most likelypsychological. If this happens with your lover, the first step is toreassure her that you’re there. Make emotional bonding yournumber one priority.Second, if you haven’t done so already, pause long enough tolubricate your hand and her vagina. Having ample lubrication canmake an incredible difference.Third, if you’re absolutely sure she can’t achieve the G-Spotorgasm, even with extra lubrication, break the “hand-abovebreast”rule and try massaging the clitoris while you stroke herG-Spot. Be patient and understanding. And if your attempt for aG-Spot orgasm fails, you may wish to help her achieve a traditionalclitoral or vaginal orgasm. Retry the G-Spot orgasm on anotheroccasion. Afterwards, read the section titled “Emotional Aspects”and then re-read the 10 steps to make sure you’re following theinstructions to the letter. You may even want to discuss G-Spotorgasms with your lover. Some women simply won’t allow themselvesto “lose control” without understanding what’s happeningto their bodies.Above all else, remember that orgasms are emotionally drivenfor most women. Talking, kissing, holding, reassuring, and buildingtrust are each as important (sometimes more) than the physicalstimulus.68The Urge to UrinateUpon initial stimulation of the G-Spot, some women feel astrong and urgent need to urinate. This can be either a legitimateneed or a “ghost sensation”, depending on whether her bladder isfull, partially full, or empty.In the case of a full or partially full bladder, the pressure beingapplied near the urethra and bladder neck can bring about a realneed to urinate. However, if the bladder was emptied recently, thesensation may originate from G-Spot stimulation.Many women report feeling the “ghost sensation” upon thefirst few incidences of G-Spot stimulation. If ignored, the sensationusually abates and is replaced with erotic sensations. As ageneral rule, with repeated exposure and remembering to emptythe bladder before intercourse, most women learn to get beyondthis unpleasant sensation.If your lover can’t escape feeling “ghost sensations” after severalattempts of G-Spot stimulation, a visit to her physician orgynecologist may be in order.69Orgasm AnxietySome couples set themselves up for failure through a conditionwe’ve dubbed “Orgasm Anxiety” (OA). This condition occurswhen a person tries to “force” or “rush” an orgasm and inadvertentlyinhibits the orgasm from occurring. OA frequently occursin people displaying certain behavior patterns: “Goal Seekers”and “Performance Givers” are the two most common.Our definition of a “Goal Seeker” is a person who focusesstrictly on achieving orgasm, placing little emphasis on the pleasureto be experienced along the way. “Goal Seekers” often expressfeelings of sexual frustration if they don’t climax during eachsexual encounter. Feelings of guilt, inadequacy, or selfishnessmay arise if they need additional stimulation after the partner hasalready climaxed—and any of these feelings can inhibit orgasm,thus perpetuating the problem. Goal Seekers who race their partnerto orgasm and either “rush” or “try to force” the orgasm, sufferfrom OA.Opposite to “Goal Seekers” are the “Performance Givers”.PGs are known for “faking orgasms”. While some people do notfeel the need to climax for their own satisfaction, they may feelthe need to orgasm to please their partner. It may be their partnerfeels inadequate if the “Performance Giver” doesn’t climax;therefore, a “Performance Giver” can develop OA even thoughthey don’t require orgasm for their own benefit.OA is a good subject to discuss candidly with your partner.Don’t let “Goal Seeking” or “Performance Giving” steal yoursexual enjoyment. Talk to your partner about each of you enjoyingmore pleasure along the path of lovemaking. Since it’s veryunlikely that you’ll both achieve orgasm at the exact samemoment, every time you make love, discuss your feelings ofneeding or giving stimulation after the other has climaxed.Discuss the importance you each place on climax. You may besurprised by what you learn.70He Said / She SaidOne common problem between couples is a misinterpretationof “Foreplay”. This misinterpretation comes about because menoften think in physical terms while women often think in emotionalterms. For many men, “foreplay” marks the physical actswhich preface intercourse: kissing, touching, massage, fondlingthe breasts, vaginal or clitoral stimulation, cunnilingus, etc. . .These acts physically “ready” a woman for the “main event”:intercourse and orgasm.For many women, “foreplay” is primarily emotional with thephysical stimuli being secondary. Women often view foreplay inwide and encompassing terms. Foreplay may range from spendingan evening together, to talking, to sharing hopes and desires, slowdancing, or simply holding hands while walking through the mallor watching TV. At some undetermined point, foreplay becomes“Lovemaking”.Consider this example:Wife: “I’m almost afraid to kiss him. It’s like one kiss leads usright to the bedroom. . .”Husband: “She always complains that I jump right into it, butI don’t. . . I kiss her, play with her breasts, massage her womanhood,and give her plenty of foreplay before we ever start. . .”This example clearly demonstrates the different perceptions.The “wife” feels there is no foreplay or intimacy because therewas no emotional bonding prior to the physical. To her, the husband“jumps right into sex” because he starts at the point she perceivesas the threshold of “lovemaking”.On the other hand, the husband is frustrated because he understandshis wife’s need for “foreplay” and feels he has tried to fulfillthe need through physical stimulus (his concept of foreplay).71If any of this strikes home, be happy about it. Recognizingand accepting the problem is 95% of the way to resolve. What’simportant to realize is we can’t glorify one of these needs whilecondemning the other. Neither can be deemed right or wrong.They are simply differences.If you sense there may be confusion about foreplay in yourrelationship, have a candid chat with your partner about herneeds. Be sure to share your needs with her, too. You may besurprised to learn how easily you can accommodate each other’sneeds while incidentally enriching and deepening your relationship.Even if you don’t feel there’s a problem in your relationship, itmay help you to “shoot down” any troubles before they arise.72The Emotional AspectIn the world of accounting, there’s an adage that goes: “If youtorture the numbers long enough, they’ll tell you whatever youwant to hear”. “Truth” is much the same way. It can be distorted,twisted, omitted, hidden, or fashioned to whatever suits us best. Ifwe manipulate the truth long enough, we’ll eventually convinceourselves to believe whatever variation we’ve manufactured forthe sake of our own emotional comfort. We can convert the realtruth into a “falsehood”. In straightforward terms, we often lie toourselves and don’t mind doing so if it shields us from the emotionalpinpricks of life.As we all know, the problem with self-deception is that thereal truth has a nasty habit of haunting us. The truth doesn’t carewhat we think of it. Unlike us, it has no ego to bruise. It is simply“the truth”, like it or not.Of women we’ve polled, the leading cause cited for the inabilityto obtain orgasm (of any type) was a lack of “emotional intimacy”being established. In another study, when women wereasked: “What is it about sex that gives you the most pleasure?”,the leading answer was “emotional intimacy; sharing feelingswith a loved one”. (This is especially true of Performance Givers;their motive for intercourse is emotional bonding.) Second andthird rankings went to “touching and sensuality” and “orgasm”.With such answers as “pleasing him”, “cunnilingus”, “clitoralmassage”, “fellatio”, and “the excitement” ranking far near thebottom of the scale.These two studies revealed two very simple truths: (1) that thelack of needed emotional intimacy can prevent many womenfrom climaxing, and (2) that emotional intimacy is the enginedriving most women’s desire for intercourse.If your lover was unable to reach a G-Spot orgasm, the mostlikely reason is she didn’t reach a level of deep comfort. This is73one of those nasty truths that most of us don’t want to face, sinceit pains our ego. On the other hand, it’s better to bear the pain andown up to the “possibility” and tackle it head-on, rather than lieto ourselves. . . only to have the ugly truth rear it’s head again.Whether your relationship is new or old, there is hope. Theefforts you have put forth will not go unrewarded. If your relationshipis new, it may be that she hasn’t yet established a comfortablelevel of bonding with you. Perhaps she has reservationsleft over from a previous relationship. Be patient. Earn her trust.The positive factor is, you’ve lavished a wonderful evening on herthat will certainly leave a favorable and romantic impression.She’ll undoubtedly greet you with a wide smile the next timeyou meet.If your relationship is more established, you may have overwhelmedyour partner with an uncharacteristic amount of tendernessand bonding. She may have been expecting you to “drop abomb” at any moment and simply couldn’t completely relax. Thisis especially true if sex has recently been a ritual.So what are you waiting for?Talk to your partner. If you enjoyed the evening tell her soand ask how she enjoyed it. If you both agree that you mutuallyenjoyed it, this is the perfect opportunity to plan for the nexttime. Chances are, next time she’ll be more relaxed andyou’ll succeed.74Tips From Experienced UsersWhile the 10-Step Technique has proven effective for mostpeople, it’s important to recall that we are each individuals. Weeach have different likes and dislikes. We each have distinctperceptions of life, personal experiences, our own spiritual views,and subtle idiosyncrasies that make us unique. Like snowflakesfalling from a winter sky, we are the same when viewed collectively,yet individual when examined more closely. We are “whowe are”, and no one is exactly the same as any of us.Because of this, we encourage you to adapt the 10-StepTechnique to best serve the needs of you and your partner. Carveyour own niche. Be creative and adventurous. Make it upbeat andfun. Be romantic and spontaneous. But above all, be the personyour partner fell in love with. Be the unique person you are.Below are comments and tips shared by users of the 10-StepTechnique. In some cases, these individuals blazed their ownpathways to G-Spot adventure. Adapt what you can and enhanceyour own G-Spot experience:“My wife and I both work corporate jobs. After working 10hours a day, fighting traffic during frantic commutes to and fromwork, then getting through supper, housework, yard work, andputting up with the day-to-day headaches of life, my wife and Iare exhausted by late evening. By 8:00 PM, we’re both ready tosit back, relax, and unwind, then go to bed so we can do thewhole thing over again the next day. Often, we’re too tired toeven make love.Because of this, on our ‘date night’ I surprised my wife with aspecial treat. On Friday morning, I sent her flowers at work witha note to expect a ‘very special and romantic’ evening at home. Itook the afternoon off, cleaned the house, made some preparations,and had a candlelight dinner waiting when she walked infrom work. After the dinner, I prepared a hot bath and loaded the75bathroom with scented candles. While she soaked and relaxed inthe tub, I cleaned the kitchen, put on soft music in the bedroom,lit more candles there, and sprinkled the bed with rose petals.When she finished her bath, I led her to the bedroom and gaveher a full-body massage with her favorite aromatherapy oils. Istarted with her back, then the backs of her legs, then her feet. Ispent an hour or more just massaging and teasing her. It was agreat turn-on for both of us. By the time I finished the massage,she was relaxed and in a casual state. The atmosphere wasromantic, and we were both aroused and in a sexually comfortablestate. It was the perfect lead-in to the latter steps of yourtechnique. From there, everything happened naturally.” – J.P.“My girlfriend and I use the flavored body lotions you can buythrough adult catalogs. We like the types that feel hot when youlick or blow them. She loves it when I tie her down, blind-foldher, and then spread the lotion on her breasts and all over hervagina. It drives her crazy when I suck her breasts and rub thelotion on her clitoris and G-Spot. Sometimes I even alternatebetween the lotion and an ice cube to really make her scream.” -W.R.“The key to success is the presence of romance. It’s much easierto orgasm when you’re feeling loved and connected with yourpartner.” – A. P.“Sometimes the muscles in my forearm cramp-up while I’mrubbing her G-Spot. I’ve found that keeping a G-Spot vibratornext to the bed is a good idea in case my hand cramps. The secretis to buy a thin one. Some of the vibrators available are so bigthat when she starts contracting they become uncomfortable.” – K. R.“The great thing about the G-Spot is you can do it nearly anywhere.On our first ‘date night’, I was really eager and startedfingering my wife and massaging her G-Spot during the movie.76She was moaning quietly and orgasmed within five minutes. Itwas exciting for both of us because we were doing it in public.” -Anonymous“My wife and I like to lie on our sides in a 69 position. I canperform cunnilingus and massage her G-Spot while she gives mehead or massages me with lotion. It drives us both crazy.” – R. G.“Before we learned your technique, I had seriously consideredhaving my breasts augmented because my husband tended toignore them. I think that reading your book helped him grasp theimportance of kissing and fondling my breasts. Whether awoman’s breasts are small or large, it’s usually very pleasurablehaving them nuzzled and played with. I know several women whofeel this way. Stimulating the breasts is an important part of lovemakingfor me. Thanks for emphasizing this in your book.” – C. S.“It’s critical that foreplay start long before you reach the bedroom.”- Anonymous“At first, my wife had a lot of trouble with the false sensationof needing to urinate when she neared orgasm. We got beyondthis by doing it in the shower.” – C. H.“If you want a thrill, have her lie on her back. Lie on yourside facing her. Have her throw her nearest leg over top your legsso you can rub her G-Spot and slide your [penis] inside her atthe same time. That way, your finger is massaging her G-Spotand your [penis]! When she starts contracting, it will drive youboth crazy.” – D. J.“Keep a fresh towel and lots of lubrication in the bedroom.” – D. T.77“The clitoris can really distract a women. Stay away from itthe first few times you use the technique. You’ll have time for itlater.” – R.B.“For a real treat, try having her lie on her back on a table orcounter. Have her bottom positioned near the edge. If you squatin front of her, you can hold her labia open and watch as sheorgasms and ejaculates. It’s amazing to see the juice flow downyour hand as her vagina contracts and sucks on your finger.” – T. W.“I had a lot of misconceptions before I read this book. Ithought I could always hit a women’s G-Spot with my penis.Although it stings the ego, it’s better to realize you were wrongthan continue being wrong.” – L. J. T.“My wife uses a vibrator on her clitoris while I massage herG-Spot and suck her breasts. Her orgasm is strong enough shesometimes faints afterwards. She loves it.” – T. P.“I love seeing my wife in a teddy, a garter, thigh highs, andhigh heels. I’m a leg and breast man and that ensemble is a realturn-on for me. However, before I learned your technique, I hadto beg my wife to dress up for me in her ‘play clothes’. Now shemeets me at the door in her ‘play clothes’ every day after work.Thank you.” – D. L.“The first time she came, it looked like she was about to givebirth. She hunched forward and all this fluid shot out of her andsplattered on my arm. I didn’t believe in the G-Spot until thatmoment. Believe me, it’s real.” – T. J. S.78“If you don’t succeed the first try, don’t give up. It’s worth itwhen it finally happens. And it will eventually happen when she’sready.” – F. S.79An Informative Interviewwith aRenowned Sex ResearcherA note from the author regarding this interview:According to The Merriam-Webster Dictionary (PocketBooks), the word “philanthropy” is defined as:“an effort to promote human welfare; a charitable act or gift;(or) goodwill to fellowmen…”.When delving deeper into philanthropy’s meaning, a synonymencountered is “altruism”, which is defined as:“an unselfish act performed for the welfare of others”.While “philanthropy” and “altruism” are very similar in meaning,a subtle difference does exist in their meanings and usage.“Philanthropy” places emphasis on the “act” of helping others. Inother words, when we donate our time or money to a charitableorganization, we are performing acts of “philanthropy”. Being aphilanthropist can make us feel better about ourselves and mayprovide either public recognition or a nice break on our yearly taxes,possibly both.Like philanthropy, “altruism” also entails a donation of ourtime or money in a manner that benefits a group, community, orhumankind in general. However, altruism takes the concept ofphilanthropy to a higher level because it is performed without anydesire for self-recognition. Altruism is very unselfish. Anonymousdonations are altruistic acts, and in our present day “me-me”world, such acts are rare, commendable, andmorally refreshing.I have touched upon “philanthropy” and “altruism” becausethe interview subject for this section displays both of these80admirable traits and characteristics. While wishing to remain“anonymous”, he or she unselfishly donated their own time andeffort…purely for the sake of insuring that you, the reader,received accurate information. And because of my profoundrespect for “Anonymous”, even though I wish to share recognition,I have sworn to protect his or her identity. I can only say that“Anonymous” is a world-renowned leader in the fields of sexologyand sexual research. And that disclosing his or her identity wouldadd instant creditability to this book. He or she is widely consideredan expert in this field, if not “the” expert of the field, and I wouldurge readers to regard his or her interview answers as reliable andwell informed.The Interview:AUTHOR: I’d like to begin the interview by thanking you onbehalf of myself and readers for sharing your time and yourwealth of knowledge. Your unselfish generosity is commendable.ANONYMOUS: You’re welcome.AUTHOR: The first question I wish to pose is a preface to theoverall G-Spot experience: what elements do you feel are importantfor a woman to achieve a G-Spot orgasm?ANONYMOUS: A woman has to be comfortable with her body,comfortable and willing to communicate with her partner, and hasto be willing to experiment with different positions of sexualintercourse. Acceptance of self is very important. A woman alsohas to be aware that she is responsible for her own orgasm, andno one can give her an orgasm.AUTHOR: If we can, let’s break that down a little more byexamining an “orgasm”. Exactly what is an orgasm?81ANONYMOUS: It’s important to distinguish that in men,orgasm and ejaculation are two different phenomenon and arecontrolled by two separate nerve pathways. We are just beginningto learn more about the neurophysiology of sexual response andsexual behavior in women. As individuals, we say we know whatan orgasm is, but I’m not sure we know what it is. In layman’sterms, there’s a stimulation of nerve pathways, a buildup of tension,and then a release of muscle tension. And you do not haveto have physical stimulation for orgasm to occur. This can alsooccur with mental stimulation.AUTHOR: With that in mind, how do G-Spot orgasms differfrom clitoral or vaginal orgasms?ANONYMOUS: There are physiological differences in that withstimulation of the G-Spot, the uterus pushes down into the vagina,the introitis of the vagina opens and there is a bearing downsensation. With stimulation of the clitoris, the uterus pulls up, theend of the vagina balloons out, and there are contractions in theouter third of the vagina. Women report that an orgasm from GSpotstimulation feels deeper inside, whereas an orgasm from clitoralstimulation is more localized in the genital area.AUTHOR: Do you feel that female ejaculations and the G-Spotcoincide?ANONYMOUS: Not necessarily. In some women they are correlated,in others they are not. In one of the early research articlespublished on this, research showed a test subject had ejaculationfrom clitoral stimulation and from G-Spot stimulation.AUTHOR: Do all women ejaculate?ANONYMOUS: Most women do have some expulsion of fluidfrom the ducts and glands into the urethra. And this can occur82during clitoral stimulation or vaginal stimulation or G-Spotstimulation. The fluid goes either into the bladder or out of theurethra as ejaculation. This has been documented by Dr.Francesco Cabello of Malaga, Spain.AUTHOR: What is known of the fluid women expel during anejaculation — where is it stored, what is it’s chemical makeup ornearness?ANONYMOUS: It comes from the female prostate gland, whichsurrounds the urethra and has ducts into the urethra. It is made upof glucose, fructose, PSA, and PAP.AUTHOR: What health benefits or risks surround G-Spotorgasms?ANONYMOUS: The obvious benefit is it feels good. Riskscould be that someone trying to find it could cause trauma to tissuewith long finger nails or improper stimulation or not getting feedbackfrom the woman. Also, stimulation of this area produces astrong natural pain blocking effect.AUTHOR: About how far inside the vagina is the G-Spot?ANONYMOUS: The G-Spot is found about half-way betweenthe back of the pubic bone (which is on the roof of the vagina)and the cervix, and it’s along the course of the urethra. You haveto push into the upper vaginal wall to feel this area as it swells.Use a “come here” motion with your fingers to stimulate the area.It’s really hard for women to feel it on themselves unless theyhave a short vagina and long fingers, because you have to benddown, push up, and push in… although there are instructions on83how to find it on yourself. It is difficult to say how far inside thevagina you have to feel because the G Spot is felt through theupper vaginal wall, not on it, and each woman is different.AUTHOR: What would you tell people about finding the G-Spot?ANONYMOUS: I don’t want to see people set up on finding theG-Spot, or male multiple orgasms, or female ejaculation, orimagery orgasm as a goal they have to achieve. We’re all uniqueindividuals. We all have different tastes in terms of the clothingwe choose to wear, the foods we choose to eat, the people wechoose to be with. I think it’s only natural that we have differenttastes in what we like sexually. And some women may not findthis area sensitive or erotic. Or it may be that someone is notpressing hard enough on the area, because you have to use quite abit of pressure pushing up through the vaginal wall to feel thearea swell. Or they may have long fingernails or rough skin thatcauses the women to feel uncomfortable.What’s important is we need to be open and aware and helppeople find whatever is pleasurable for them, whether that be G-Spotstimulation, clitoral stimulation, or stimulation of other eroticareas. And more importantly, we should enjoy the overall experienceand what’s felt along the way, not just focusing on achievingan orgasm.What we need to do is enjoy the experience, not just strive foran orgasm.AUTHOR: What would help women to learn moreabout themselves?ANONYMOUS: Men are given permission to touch their peniswhen they urinate. But for women it’s more difficult. Manywomen get the message as a young c***d: “don’t touch downthere”. And it’s very difficult for these women to learn about theirown bodies because they have been given negative messages84about touching their genitals. And you can’t learn about yourselfwithout exploring and touching your genitals and without touchingother parts of your body. So women need to learn to be comfortabletouching their body for pleasure.AUTHOR: What will happen if all women become orgasmic?ANONYMOUS: There’s so much more to sensuality and sexualitythan orgasm. And women are often orgasmic now. But that’snot the end-all. That is not it. It’s the relationship, the communication,the caring, and the intimacy that are so important. Anddon’t be threatened by a woman’s sexuality and sensuality, she’sgoing to enjoy it and you enjoy her enjoying it.AUTHOR: What can people do to increase their sexual response?ANONYMOUS: I think it’s important for women to be awarethat they can take control and do some things that will help themselves…not only in terms of mapping their bodies and beingaware of what provides them with pleasure. They can use theKegel exercises. The Kegel exercises are those that are sometimestaught around the time of c***dbirth, before or after, to increasethe strength of the PC muscle. By increasing the strength of thismuscle, we find that there is a positive correlation with howstrong that muscle is and a women’s orgasmic response. That is,women who have very weak muscles usually don’t have orgasms,where women who have particularly strong muscles often havemultiple orgasms. This was documented by Graber and Klein-Graber in the 1970’s.To identify the muscle to use with the Kegel exercises,become aware of the muscle you use to cut off the flow of urine.You may want to test the strength of your Pubococcygeus or PCmuscle before you start the exercise program. Put two fingers intothe vagina, yours or your partners, open them up like scissors, andthen try to close them with your muscles. Don’t be surprised ifyou can not do that.85Start off the exercises slowly, contracting and relaxing themuscles you use to cut off the flow of urination, slowly buildingup the repetitions to 100 times per day. Then in a month, repeatthe test by inserting two fingers into the vagina and trying tosqueeze the fingers together to see if the muscle is gettingstronger. This is a good way for women to take control of theirhealth and their sexual response.Not only is it good for women to do, they are also good formen. Men can do the same exercise to increase sexual pleasureand orgasm. Men have reported that their erections are strongerafter strengthening the PC muscle. By increasing the strength ofthis muscle and then squeezing the muscle at the moment of ejaculatoryinevitability, some men can learn to have multipleorgasms through preventing ejaculation. Here again, it’s importantto realize that ejaculation and orgasm are two separate phenomenonsand need not occur simultaneously.AUTHOR: If a woman does Kegel exercises, will her vaginabe tighter?ANONYMOUS: It may become tighter. As the strength of thePC muscle increases she may feel tighter during vaginal intercourse.And also, a very good way of doing the exercise is with apenis inside the vagina. You’re then doing the exercises against aresistance device, which is always more effective. And also, themale will have pleasure and enjoyment from the stimulation ofthe penis by the PC muscle.AUTHOR: How can a man test the strength of their PC muscle?ANONYMOUS: There’s a very fun way for men to test thestrength of their PC muscles. First of all, you want to do this inprivate. When you start out, before you do the exercise, put atissue over an erect penis and lift it up. And most men will smileand say “I can do that”, but that’s a pretty weak muscle. So after86they do the exercise for a month or so [the same as the women doby contracting then relaxing the muscle that stops the flow ofurination], they can try the test again. Then, they may try doingthe test with a wash cloth, and then a hand towel, and eventuallya wet hand towel. But don’t do the exercise with something overthe penis. This is just to test the strength of the muscle. The exerciseis for fun and sexual enjoyment.AUTHOR: What affect does aging have on sexual response?ANONYMOUS: There are some physiological changes duringthe aging process. Men and women may take a little longer asthey get older to become sexually aroused. It may take longer formen to have an erection and may take longer for ejaculation. Forwomen, it may take longer to have vaginal lubrication. Also,women may not have as many contractions as they once did, andthe contractions may not be as strong. But instead of comparingthe process to how it was, it is important to enjoy sensual andsexual as it is. Here again, the Kegel exercises can help in keepingsexuality more vital.AUTHOR: In closing, I’d like to thank you once again for sharingyour knowledge with readers. It is appreciated and I’m sure readerscan benefit through the information you’ve provided.87Case Studies & WorksheetsFemale ResponsesSubject: AFemale, age: 49Marital Status: Married/Divorced/Re-marriedSubject: BFemale, age: 32Marital Status: MarriedSubject: CFemale, age: 25Marital Status: Single, engagedPrior to you (or your mate) having read this book, had youexperienced a G-Spot orgasm?A: No.B: No.C: I’d never felt anything like it. . .Before your first G-Spot experience, did you climax on a regularbasis through intercourse?A: Yes and no. During my first marriage, I never climaxed andhated having sex. My ex-husband was rough, selfish, andimpatient. Sex with him was painful and never a source ofpleasure for me. It was the sore point of our marriage. He88called me “frigid” and he didn’t understand why I neverenjoyed sex. He acted as if something was wrong with me,and after hearing it over and over, Escort I began to believe him. Itried talking to my mother and grandmother about the problem,but found no support. They presented sex as the duty of a“good wife” in fulfilling her husband’s needs and as a meansof procreating.The first time I made love with my present husband, it was atotally new experience. He’s patient and gentle, and I climaxedseveral times the first night we made love. It was a trueawakening and gave me a sense of renewed self-confidence. Itmade me realize that I wasn’t “frigid”—there wasn’t anythingwrong with me—and I wasn’t solely responsible for the firstfailed marriage. Now, I nearly always climax. When I feel myhusband beginning to swell inside me, it throws me right overthe edge. And on the rare occasions when he climaxes before Ido, he helps me achieve by either continuing to move, oralstimulation, or with sexual props. We never have a problembecause we talk openly and I don’t end up feeling “rushed”.B: No. I can sometimes climax when my husband orally stimulatesmy clitoris or uses a vibrator, but can’t [climax] with justhis penis. I need lots of cuddling and loving beforehand to getme in a sensual mood.C: Not every time. It depended on the guy. . . how I felt abouthim and my mood when it happened.How much did you enjoy sex before your first G-Spot orgasm?A: With my second husband, I’ve always enjoyed making love.B: That’s a hard question to answer. . . Our sex life was good, butnothing like it is now. I guess I felt that something was missing.. . like there should be deeper pleasure and intensity—doyou understand what I mean?89(“Yes. . .”)“I’d find myself reading romance novels and dreaming ofsomeday feeling the kind of pleasure those women feel. But Iwasn’t sure if that was real or merely the yearnings of fiction.C: Sometimes I enjoyed it; other times, if I really liked a certainguy, it was an easy way to deepen the relationship.Can you describe the first time you experienced a G-Spotorgasm?A: Yes. I’ll never forget it. But where should I begin? Okay. Let’ssee. . . I’d have to say my husband blind-sided me with it. Henever gave me a single clue that he’d read the book or what hewas planning. He just asked me out on a “date”—and consideringthat we’re married, I felt that his “asking me out” wasflattering. It was a very romantic gesture and I was lookingforward to making it up to him, come date night.When our “date” finally rolled around, he surprised me bycoming home from work with a dozen roses. We went out todinner (which I loved because I didn’t have to cook or doclean-up afterwards). Then after dinner, we went for a moonlightstroll, then came home and cuddled on the sofa whilewatching a movie.I guess I was aroused because I had been looking forward to“making it up to him” all week. And he was aroused too,probably by his secret agenda. We ended up necking throughmost of the movie—just like we were teenagers—until we gothome and I was so ready I stripped off my clothes and most ofhis. I wanted him then and there. . .Instead, he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom, laidme on the bed, finished undressing, and began kissing me allover again.In retrospect, having read the book now, I can see how he wasfollowing the steps. But he was also concentrating his attention90on me, and I could feel it. His attention was focused muchdeeper than our regular love-making. We had a connectiongoing. It was almost spiritual. And even though I was ready forhim at any moment, I didn’t feel rushed, and loved what hewas doing to me.He nuzzled and sucked my breasts until I felt like my wholebody was yearning for him. And by the time he finally touchedme, I thought I would explode. It was like tuning guitar strings,tweaking them tighter and tighter until you just know that thenext turn of the knob they’re going to go. I can rememberpushing and thrusting against his hand, begging him to massageme, yet loving the way he was teasing me.When he finally entered me with his finger and began massagingmy G-Spot, the tension drained from me and I felt like Iwas floating in the clouds. It was relaxing to have that hungryvoid filled, while I was still highly aroused. I’m not really surehow to describe it. . . It’s like hot and cold. He was suckingand teasing my breasts, which made me yearn. But his fingerwas fulfilling the void with every new yearning. It was heaven.A few minutes into it, I could tell something totally new washappening inside me. I don’t know how to describe it, but Icould feel an orgasm building and knew it would be muchdeeper and much more intense than anything I’d ever feltbefore. There was a great sense of building. I can’t put it intowords. It was scary. I wanted it to happen yet I knew I’d haveto let myself go completely to reach it. And that was hard todo. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself in front of my husband,thrashing around or screaming. At the same time, I wasafraid he’d stop what he was doing and I’d be terribly disappointed.He must have felt me tense up or something at that verymoment—maybe it was the connection we had. . . I don’tknow—but he said exactly what I needed to hear. He told me:“Don’t worry. I’m here. I know what’s happening to you. I loveyou. Just relax and let it happen.”And I did. I could feel it building inside of me, like waves,91each a little higher than the last. He continued telling me howmuch he loved me and reassuring me. I’m not sure how he wasable to talk because I never felt his mouth leave my breasts,but he did it somehow.A couple of times I peaked out really high and was close tocresting over. I wanted it to happen so badly, yet was afraid itwouldn’t, and part of me was a little wary of it. But after thethird or fourth peak,—just when I started to think I wasn’tgoing to make it—I felt this warmth start inside of me, spreadingoutward from my core. I could feel it building and buildingand building and I realized then, even if I wanted to stop it, Icouldn’t.When it finally came I screamed and was squinting my eyesclosed so hard that I could see red. I could feel myself contractinghard against his finger, trying to suck it in, gettingwarmer and tighter and warmer and tighter. . . It was by far thebest thing I’d ever felt—better than I imagined. I don’t reallyhave words to describe it. It just felt so good and kept goingand going much longer than any orgasm I’d ever had. It was sowarm and so deep. . . I wanted it to last forever.After what seemed like an eternity (which my husband latertold me was two-and-a-half minutes), it began to fade. Ibecame vaguely aware that the bed and the inside of my thighswere very wet. For a minute, I wondered if I had lost controland peed the bed during the climax. . . but I forgot about thatas my husband quickly removed his finger and inserted himselfinside of me. He was obviously highly aroused, was rock hard,and began swelling almost instantly. His penis felt about threetimes its normal size and he was marveling about how tight Iwas. He came right away and his swelling threw me right overthe edge again and we climaxed together.After we laid together panting for a few minutes and floatedback down to earth, I realized that the bed actually was wet.Very wet. It was absolutely drenched. I felt certain I had lostcontrol of myself and was very embarrassed. That first timewas the wettest I’ve ever been. But he assured me I hadn’tpeed, that a stream of clear fluid had shot out of me and was92gushing past his hand and splattering between my knees.I would say I was skeptical, but skeptical may not be a precisedescription of what I felt. I think “wonderment” is a moreappropriate term. I was astonished, stunned, and curious at thesame time. I had to examine some of the fluid on my thighsjust to reassure myself. It didn’t smell like urine and was clear,with just a hint of milkiness. And it was slick—not as slick asmy normal lubricant, but not nearly as sticky as urine.Afterwards, he explained how he had come across the bookand how it had piqued his curiosity. He showed me the bookand we read parts of it and talked about how women have theability to ejaculate (as I had).I’ve got to admit, I loved him more right then than I everremember loving anything. What he did for me—for us—wasso selfless. And since then, our relationship has never beenstronger.B: Not in a single word. It was the best thing I’ve ever felt.(“Better than other orgasms you’d had?”)Oh, yes. . . by a long shot. In the past, when my husband madelove to me, I’d get really keyed up about the time he was readyto go to sleep. The problem was, as soon as he came the “showwas over”. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea here—I lovemy husband dearly and enjoy making love with him—but itwas frustrating to watch him have such a fulfilling orgasm andthen fade off to sleep while I was left tossing and turning andwanting more.On some nights I’d feel satisfied. Other times, one or twoorgasms just weren’t enough for me. The problem wasn’t thequantity of orgasms, it was the quality. The depth. The orgasmsI had with my husband (and other men before my marriage)just weren’t deep enough. They left me sensing there should bemore, which ties in with what I mentioned earlier about the93romance novels and wanting to feel the deep satisfaction thosefictional women feel.After that first G-Spot orgasm, I knew I’d found what I wasmissing. I felt completely satisfied afterwards. I was drained—(laugh)—literally.C: Intense pleasure. That’s the only way I know how to describeit. It was very different from anything I’d felt. As strange as itsounds, I’m glad it hadn’t happened earlier in my life becauseI wouldn’t have anything to compare it to.After your first G-Spot experience, has it been easier or harderfor you to achieve G-Spot orgasms? And how do they compareto the first experience?A: The second time my husband tried the technique it took longerfor me to climax. I had a really hard time reaching it andended up “giving up” before it finally happened. I think myhusband had relaxed a little and wasn’t following all of thesteps to the letter. . . and in some ways, that was a reversionback to our previous lovemaking. Not that it was bad before. .. I just wanted to feel his focus and the emotional bond we hadthe first time.Part of the problem was my own, too. I wanted to feel the climaxso badly that I tried to rush it. But I’ve since learned thatthis isn’t something you can make happen. Every time I triedto force it to happen, it faded away just when I was ready tocrest over. It reminded me of a wanderer in the desert chasinga mirage. You know? The faster you run after it, the fartheraway it gets.After getting really-really close five or six times, I gave up. Ibegan to cry because I was afraid that the first time had been afluke and I’d never get to feel another climax like that first oneagain. Plus, my husband had been caressing the spot for about45 minutes and I was feeling guilty and selfish. I knew hewanted to climax, too, and I figured his hand was getting tired94and was probably hurting. It was frustrating and made me seethe wisdom behind your advising people [in the book] not totell the woman about it beforehand. Once you know how goodit’s going to be, the apprehension is almost painful and can beinhibiting.”(“Did you eventually reach the climax?”)Yes. I told my husband that I couldn’t make it and asked himto stop. By then, I’d given up completely. I was very disappointed.He stopped caressing my G-Spot and started caressingmy breasts and abdomen while we talked. He told me that Iwas probably trying too hard and I just needed to try to relaxand let it happen naturally. I remember telling him that I couldn’trelax because I wanted it to happen too badly, but wasafraid it would never happen again. I also told him I was feelingguilty for how long it was taking, and he told me not tofeel guilty, that he enjoyed seeing me feel good. He told methat he loved me and asked me if massaging the G-Spot feltgood even when I didn’t completely make it. I told him yes,and I loved him, too. He asked if I would let him try again andwould just relax and enjoy what I was feeling at the momentinstead of focusing on the climax. By then, I was beginning tofeel a vaginal yearning again and didn’t need much convincing.He teased me a little more and then began caressing myG-Spot again. As soon as he touched it, I could feel anotherwave start building, but instead of trying to make it come, Itried to focus on what I was feeling. Within 30 seconds, I climaxed.Since then, I’ve learned not to try to force it to happen. Andthe more we do it, the easier it is for me. We’ve done it standingin the shower, on the washing machine during the spincycle, the couch; anyplace works fine.B: I had a few slow times at first. I had to be lying down and hadto make myself relax. But after the first few times it got fasterand easier. And now I can ejaculate right away and can do it in95other positions. Once we did it while standing in the shower.And sometimes now I have a G-Spot orgasm when I take thetop during regular lovemaking. It’s never been as good as thefirst time it happened, but it’s come close and it’s still morefulfilling than other orgasms. You won’t hear me complaining.C: It keeps getting better and better.96Male ResponsesSubject: AMale, age: 38Marital Status: MarriedSubject: BMale, age: 34Marital Status: MarriedSubject: CMale, age: 27Marital Status: Single, engagedDid you succeed on your first attempt to give a G-Spot orgasm?A: Yes.B: No.C: Yes.Approximately how long did it take from the beginning of theactual G-Spot stimulation until the orgasm began?A: The first time took about 45 minutes. About 30 minutes into it,my forearm started burning and lightly cramping. It wasn’toverly painful, but it was enough to cause doubts about thesystem and my wife’s “supposed” ability to have a G-Spotorgasm. However, I could tell something was happening withmy wife by the way she was moaning and moving and tellingme not to stop. I figured if nothing else, it was a great workout97for the muscles in my forearm and a thorough test for the systemif I could keep it up a few more minutes. By the 40-minute mark, my arm felt like it was on fire and I was havingtrouble keeping my finger movement steady. This worked outfor the best because, by then, my wife had started urging meto go faster. I could see the desperation in her eyes and I wantedto go faster—and would have if I could—but my forearmmuscles wouldn’t allow it. It was the agonizingly slow pacethat pushed her right over the edge. Had I moved faster orharder, I would have delayed her climax without realizing it.The second time took a while, too. But since then we’ve gottenfaster and faster at bringing the climax about. Now, we canoften do it within 5 minutes. We can use other positions and Ican often insert myself just before it happens so we climaxtogether.B: 20 minutes.C: 25-30 minutes.Have you always succeeded?A: About 99 percent of the time.B: Ah. . . no. I’m embarrassed to mention this, but when I firstgot the book I didn’t read it. I scanned through it, looked at thediagram, and tried stimulating my wife’s G-Spot the next timewe had sex. When I asked her how it was feeling she said itwas “different” and “unusual” and “it felt good” but nothingseemed to be happening. She kept guiding my hand back toher clitoris, so I stopped and figured the whole thing was a hoax.A few days later I got to work early and my boss called on thecell-phone and said he’d be running about half-an-hour late. Itwas about 20 degrees outside and since I didn’t have a key to98get inside, it meant I’d have to wait in the car until he gotthere. I have to wonder if there wasn’t some divine interventiongoing on because I’d hidden the book under the car seatand had nothing better to do than read it. The funny thing is, Ifinished the last page just as my boss turned into the parking lot.As I read the book, I realized the mistakes I’d made and figuredit was worth another try, this time following the stepsinstead of trying to muddle my way through it.It went like clockwork. Since then, my wife has G-Spotorgasms every time I use the technique and our relationshiphas never been stronger.C: Most of the time. I think it depends on the girl.What was the most extraordinary or remarkable thing youlearned from this book?A: I didn’t know my wife had the ability to ejaculate before Iread the book. I thought only a few women could “squirt” (asthey call it) and guessed these women had some type of physicalanomaly which allowed the squirting. It made them perfectcandidates for porn movies.Now I’ve learned the opposite is true of what I believed. Fromthe book, I’ve learned that most women have this inherentcapacity. And it’s amazing that so many people are stillunaware of it. Totally unbelievable.B: Before I read the book, I thought the whole G-Spot thing wasa hoax. I thought that my wife did ejaculate when sheachieved orgasm and it was a small amount that mixed right inwith her natural lubrication. I’m glad I was wrong! The firsttime she had a G-Spot orgasm she drenched the bed. We werein bed with the lights off, so I couldn’t see the fluid comingout of her. But I could feel my hand and the bed getting99soaked. And later, when we turned on the lights to change thesheets, there was about a foot-wide wet circle where she waslying. I was shocked that all the G-Spot stuff was true.C: The whole thing, the strength of the orgasm and the ejaculation.The first time I did it, I was with an ex-girlfriend I’d beendating off-and-on for about 4 months. We’d had sex a fewtimes and it was good, but not great. She was always quietduring sex and would just lie there motionless and moan a littlebit. And then afterwards, she would act like I owed hersome big favor. But that first night [using the G-Spot technique]was wild and different! At first she just started moaninglike usual. But her moans kept getting louder and louderand she started saying “Oh, God, don’t stop! Oh, God, don’tstop!” over and over. Then she started bucking and gaspingand kept getting louder and louder until she was screaming it.I was loving it! I half-expected the cops to show up at anyminute because the walls in my apartment are paper-thin. Butshe didn’t seem to care, she kept screaming. She looked likeshe was in labor and was giving birth. Then she went deadsilent and was really straining and all this fluid started kind ofbubbling and flowing out of her. It was awesome. She followedme around like a whipped puppy for a week afterwardsand wanted to do it all day and night.What do you enjoy most about G-Spot orgasms?A: Wow. That’s a tough question. There’s more than one answer.For one thing, I like seeing the pleasure my wife is experiencingand knowing that I provided that pleasure for her. It’s verysatisfying and it lends a certain sense of both love and power.But it runs deeper than just that. Before I learned this technique,when my wife would climax I never had distinct physicalsigns to go by. She could have easily faked it and I’d haveno way of knowing differently. I simply had to take her wordfor it. There were no distinct guideposts. When she neared a100climax, her breathing would increase. I might feel a very slighttightening in her vagina and her moaning would grow louder,but that was it. There was never a clear beginning or end.Now all the doubt is gone. I have undeniable physical signs togo by. As she starts the climax, her vagina begins constrictingand squeezing against my finger so tightly that it threatens toforce my finger out! She’s so tight and wet and warm that itdrives me crazy. And then the fluid comes and her moans turnto screams. There’s simply no more doubt about when the climaxbegins and when it ends.B: This technique has truly revitalized my marriage. My wife andI are closer and more open now than we’ve ever been before.Our sex life is great and our relationship is stronger than ever.Our relationship changed drastically the first time she had theG-Spot orgasm. I think it comes down to trust. When it washappening, I realized that it was so extremely intense for herthat she was putting all of her trust in me, completely. She hadto let go fully and shed all inhibitions in order to reach it. Bydoing that, she was handing me the reigns of control. She wasgiving me all the power and trusting that I wouldn’t abuse it ormake fun of her afterwards or let harm come to her while itwas happening. And that even though she wasn’t sure whatwas physically happening to her, she trusted me to guide herthrough it.When I realized just how much trust she was showing, ittouched me deeply. All the barriers that life had silently erectedbetween us crumbled. There was a new connection betweenus. As new age as it sounds, there was a oneness. There wascomplete trust. And now that we’ve developed this trust, we’refree to play and try new things without fear of recrimination.We don’t have all the inhibitions and reservations we hadbefore. We’ve taken our relationship to a higher plane.C: A lot of things. Seeing women squirt and writhe and go crazy101with the pleasure. Feeling them get so wet and tight as theyconvulse against your finger. It really boosts a man’s self-confidence.You don’t have to wonder if you’re better in bed thanthe last guy she was with, you know? Unless he knows thistechnique, you know you’re better. And you can usually tellright away, afterwards.Did your lover know she could ejaculate?A: No. She was stunned afterwards.B: Are you k**ding? She couldn’t believe it. I had to show her thebook to convince her that she hadn’t lost control and wet thebed.C: Mostly no.How much fluid does your lover normally produce when sheejaculates?A: If you want an average, I’d guess she produces somewherebetween a tablespoon full and half a cup. Although the firsttime, it seemed like at least a cupful, maybe more.To be honest I haven’t found any rhyme or reason to theamount she ejaculates. Sometimes the fluid gushes out of herand other times it’s little more than a trickle and hardly noticeable.It doesn’t seem to coincide with the intensity of herorgasm, either.You know, I guess the same is true with men if you think aboutit. I mean, the amount varies and the projection varies.Sometimes we can shoot for two or three feet while othertimes the sperm just spurts out of us.102B: The first time I did it to her, it was a lot. We didn’t measure it,but she drenched the bed so much that we had to change thesheets. Since then, the amount has varied. Some nights shereally drenches the bed and some nights it just kind of oozesout of her.C: Women put men to shame. They say that men usually makeabout a teaspoonful of sperm. But most of the women I’vetried this technique on drench the bed. I’d say it’s usually acupful.What other comments can you share with us?A: I’m still in awe of the G-Spot. It amazes me that I’ve beensexually active for 21 years now—since I was 17—yet I neverfound the G-Spot. Considering that I had several girlfriendsbefore I got married, plus 15 years of marriage and having sex2 or 3 times a week, it just boggles my mind that I—we—never came across it! And now that I know it exists, it’salmost embarrassing to think that it’s been there all along. It’sincredible because I can see how I could have passed throughmy whole life without ever knowing about it, had you notshared your information in this book.B: Your technique has changed my life and my marriage for thebetter. Thank you. You don’t know what a difference you’vemade in mine and my wife’s lives.C: I wish you would stop selling this book so other guys wouldn’tfind out about it.103The Ending ClimaxPat yourself on the back. Whether or not your first attempt atthe G-Spot orgasm is successful, you’ve done two great things.You’ve spent a little time and money to unselfishly help yourpartner feel the ultimate in female pleasure, a noble act indeed.And you’ve made an investment in yourself, gaining knowledgethat you can carry throughout life, knowledge that can be usedtime-and-time again to deliver the ultimate in female orgasms.104Voluntary Questionnaire:Part 1A Study of the G-SpotTo aid us and your partner in making strides in G-Spot orgasms,we encourage all readers to complete the following survey or mailany personal comments or questions. Mail should be directed to:Donald L. HicksP. O. Box 734Powhatan, Virginia, 23139105Part 1(To Be Filled Out By the PersonWho “Applied” the G-Spot Stimulation)Your age: ___ Your sex: ___Race: -White -Asian -Native American-Black -Hispanic -Other__________1. Did you read the entire book?-Yes-No If you answered “No”, which part did you not read,and why?______________________________________________________________________________________________2. What was the most extraordinary or remarkable thing youlearned from this book?___________________________________________________________________________________3. Before reading the book, were you aware of theG-Spot’s location? -Yes -No4. Were you aware that females can ejaculate? -Yes -No5. Did you find the book easy to follow? -Yes -No6. Can you suggest any way to improve this book? -Yes -No Ifso, how?__________________________________________7. Was your first attempt at applying the G-Spot orgasm successful?-Yes -NoIf not, how many attempts were made before you succeeded? ____Did you eventually succeed? -Yes -No1068. If you succeeded (on any attempt), did your lover ejaculate? -Yes -No9. If your lover ejaculated, how much fluid did she produce? -ATrickle -About a teaspoonful -A Tablespoonful -A cup -Shedrenched the bed sheets9. Approximately how long did it take from the beginning ofactual G-Spot stimulation until the orgasm began?____ Hours ____ Minutes.10. Approximately how long did the orgasm last? ___ Minutes11. Was your lover surprised by the intensity of the orgasm?-Yes -No12. Was your lover surprised to learn she could ejaculate?-Yes -No13. Which of the following choices best matches your lover’sreaction after the orgasm? (Choose up to three).—Joyous/Elated —Thankful— “Lovy”/Romantic —Frustrated—Embarrassed —Shy—Ready for more —Satiated/Fulfilled—Surprised —Angry—Curious —Other:__________________What other comments can you share with us?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________107Part 2(This section is to be completed by the female whoreceived the G-Spot stimulation)Your age: _____Race: -White -Asian -Native American-Black -Hispanic -Other__________1. Do you typically orgasm during foreplay and/or intercourse? -Yes -No2. If you typically orgasm, how many times do you normallyorgasm (on average) during intercourse (foreplay included)?- 0 to 1 – 2 to 3 – 4 to 5 – 5 or more3. How long is your average orgasm?- Average (8 to 19 seconds) ___ Seconds -Unknown4. What do you feel is the most predominant source ofyour orgasms? -Clitoral Stimulation-Originating from the vagina-Other:__________________5. Did you experience a “G-Spot” orgasm when your partnerapplied this technique? -Yes -No1086. If yes, how did you feel afterwards?—Joyous/Elated —Thankful— “Lovy”/Romantic —Frustrated—Embarrassed —Shy—Ready for more —Satiated/Fulfilled—Surprised —Angry—Curious —Other:__________________7. Did you ejaculate? -Yes -No8. Prior to the ejaculation, did you know females have the abilityto ejaculate? -Yes -No9. How did this orgasm compare to previous orgasms you’ve had?__________________________________________________________________________________________________________10. Was there anything you did not like about the G-Spot orgasmor the technique your lover used?__________________________________________________________________________________________________________11. What other comments can you share?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________10912. On a scale of “1 to 10” with “1” being least pleasurable and“10” being most pleasurable, how would rate orgasms you’veexperienced from the following.(use “0” if never experienced)A: Clitoral Stimulation ___B: Vaginal Stimulation ___C: G-Spot Stimulation ___All comments gathered through this survey become the propertyof Hooked on Books. Hooked on Books shall not use any namesor other information that disclose the identities of the individualsin the survey.110Optional DisclosureName: ______________________Email Address: ______________________Address: ______________________City: ______________________State: ______________________Zip: ______________________Country: ______________________111Resources for Further ResearchReading MaterialsHighly Recommended Reading:The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexualityby Alice Kahn Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry (1982)Dell PublishingA Div. Of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group. , Inc.Other Recommended Reading:The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study on Female Sexualityby Shere Hite (1976)Dell Publishing Co. , Inc.The G-Spot in Words and Pictures (1988)by Feliz G. BergerOrion-VerlagSecrets to Sensual Lovemaking: The Ultimate in Female Ecstasyby Tom Leonardi (1998)SignetPublished by the Penguin Group112Web Sites1. Sexual Health.com – http://www.sexhealth.comThis site is a great information resource. It allows visitors toask questions, browse topics, videos, and products. It also has aboard of sexual “experts”.2. Women.com – http://www.women.comWomen.com has a host of channels (including a sex channeland a health channel) and both articles and information availableregarding women’s health, interests, and sexuality. There is agreat deal of focus on Orgasm and “The Moan Zone”, “GreatVibes”, etc… It also has links to Redbook, Cosmopolitan, andeHarlquin (for more of the same).3. The Kinsey Institute – http://www.indiana.edu/~kinseyThe Kinsey Institute has a host of research publications available,along with upcoming events and sexology links.4. The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, andTher****ts (AASECT) – http://www.aasect.org/about.cfmA non-profit professional organization of sexuality educators,sex counselors and sex ther****ts, AASECT members includephysicians, nurses, social workers, psychologists, allied healthprofessionals, clergy members, lawyers, sociologists, marriageand family counselors and ther****ts, family planning specialistsand researchers, as well as students in relevant professionaldisciplines. These individuals share an interest in promotingunderstanding of human sexuality and healthy sexual behavior.5. Lover’s Lane® – http://www.loverslane.comLover’s Lane is a tasteful adult resource, geared toward couples.They offer adult books, apparel, and sex toys.113Key Words GlossaryAanalgesic An agent for producing insensibility to pain.anterior Located in the front; the front wall.Bblended orgasm Multiple orgasms occurring simultaneously.bonding The act of growing emotionally united.Cclimax The highest point; orgasm.clitoris A small, highly sensitive organ at the anterior orventral part of the vulva, homologous to the penis.D, E, Felucidate To make clear by explanation; to bring to light.female ejaculation The expulsion of liquid from the urethra.female prostate Also known as the Skene Glands or paraurethralglands; A network of glands and ducts surroundingthe urethra and bladder neck.GG-Spot The Gräfenburg Spot. A highly sensitive area locatedon the anterior wall of the vagina. This spot was namedby Dr. Beverly Whipple and Dr. John Perry, afterDr. Ernst Gräfenburg.114G-Spot virgin A woman who has never experienceda G-Spot orgasm.ghost sensation A false sensation; in the context of this book, afalse feeling of the need to urinate.Goal Seeker Individuals who focus on achieving orgasm eachsexual experience and are discontent if orgasm doesnot occur.gynecologists Doctors specializing in diseases and hygiene of women.Hhovering Floating; to be in an uncertain state. In the context ofthis book, to hold the hand above sensitive areas of thepartner’s body to create sexual anxiety.hypothesize An assumption made in order to test it’s validity.Iimmunohistochemical Of or relating to the application of histochemicaland immunologic methods tochemical analysis of living cells and tissues.innervate To supply with nerves; to arouse or stimulate (a nerveor an organ) to activity.introitis The first part of a mass; often the opening.J, Kkachapati A rite of passage reportedly practiced by the Batorotribe of Africa, through which adolescent girls weretaught to “spray the walls” and thus graduate into astate of nubility.Kegel exercises Exercises designed to strengthen the pubococcygeusmuscles.115Llabia Folds of fatty or vascular flesh bounding the vulva; the lips;often broken down into the Labia Majora (outer folds) andLabia Minora (inner folds).Mmagic triangle The area of the genitals covered in pubic hair.monolithic A social structure exhibiting solid uniformity.N, Oobstetricians Physicians who specialize in pregnancyand c***dbirth.orgasm A climax during sexual excitement.Orgasm Anxiety A condition characterized by chronic fearof not attaining orgasm during intercourse.Pparaurethral Adjacent to the urethra.Performance Givers Persons feeling the need to orgasm for thebenefit of their sexual partner.physiological The science dealing with functions of living matteror beings; the functional processes in an organismor any of its parts.pubococcygeus muscle A muscle group that acts to help supportthe pelvic viscera, to draw the lower endof the rectum toward the pubis, and toconstrict the rectum and female vagina.116Q, Rretrograde ejaculation In the context of this work, the occurrenceof fluids ejaculating backward intothe bladder instead of being outwardlyexpelled from the urethra.S, Tsafer sex Practices minimizing contact with bodily fluidsor reducing the risk of contracting sexuallytransmitted disease.sexual response Response to sexual stimulus.Skene’s glands A small mass of glands and ducts surroundingthe urethra; often considered as the femaleprostate glands or paraurethral glands..stimulation To arouse, excite, or make more active.Uurethra The canal that carries urine (to egress) from the bladder;also serving as a passageway for the ejection of male andfemale ejaculate.USI Urinary Stress Incontinence. The loss of control or restraintof the bladder.uterus The womb; An organ of the female for containing anddeveloping fetuses.V – Zvaginal marksman A sexual partner who’s goal is to initiatevaginal stimulation upon the first permissibleopportunity, often in haste.vulva The external genital parts of the female.117About the AuthorDonald L. HicksDonald Hicks is the author of three novels, numerous newspaperand magazine articles, and award-winning poetry. He attendedSouthern State Community College and is a devoted researcher ofhuman sexuality and intra-couple relationships.Together with their dog and cat, Donald and his wife of 20years live on a rolling farm in rural Virginia. They are both currentlyworking on new novels.118Materials Used in Preparing This GuideBibliographyThe G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexualityby Alice Kahn Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry (1982)Dell PublishingA Div. Of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group. , Inc.The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study on Female Sexualityby Shere Hite (1976)Dell Publishing Co. , Inc.The G-Spot in Words and Pictures (1988)by Feliz G. BergerOrion-VerlagSecrets to Sensual Lovemaking: The Ultimate in Female Ecstasyby Tom Leonardi (1998)SignetPublished by the Penguin Group119Endnotesi Stoff, J. A., M.D., and Clouatre, D., Ph.D.: The Prostate Miracle, NewNatural Therapies That Can Save Your Life; Kensington Pub. Corp.;2000ii Whipple, B., Ph.D., RN, FAAN, and Komisaurak, B. R., Ph.D.:Beyond the G Spot: Recent Research on Female Sexuality; PsychiatricAnnals 29:1, pgs 35-57; January, 1999iii Singer, I,: The Goals of Human Sexuality; Norton, New York, 1973— and/or — Singer, J., and Singer, I.: Types of Female Orgasm; TheJournal of Sex Research, 8; 1972iv Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot and OtherDiscoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing, pgs 140-154; 1982v Hite, S.,: The Hite Report; Dell Publishing, pg. 618; 1976vi Ogden G.: Perceptions of Touch in Easily Orgasmic Women DuringPeak Sexual Experiences; San Francisco, Institute for Advanced Studyof Human Sexuality; 1981. Doctoral Dissertation.vii Whipple, B., Ogden, G., and Komisaruk, B. R.: PhysiologicalCorrelates of Imagery Induced Orgasm in Women; Arch. SexualBehavior, 21(2):121-133; 1992viii Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot and OtherDiscoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing, pgs 70-71; 1982ix Addiego, F., Belzer, E. G., Comolli, J., et al.; Female Ejaculation: ACase Study; The Journal of Sex Research, 17:31-21; 1981x Zaviacic, M., Dolezalova, S., Holoman, I. K., et al: Concentrations offructose in female ejaculate and urine: A Comparative BiochemicalStudy; The Journal of Sex Research, 24: 319-325; 1988xi Belzer, E. G., Whipple, B., Moger, W.: On Female Ejaculation; TheJournal of Sex Research, 20: 403-406; 1984xii Sensabaugh, G. R., Kahane, D.: Biochemical Studies on “FemaleEjaculates”. Presented at the meeting of the California Association ofCriminologists, Newport Beach, CA; May, 1982xiii Zaviacic, M., Whipple, B.: Update on the Female Prostate and thePhenomenon of Female Ejaculation; The Journal of Sex Research: Vol12030, No 2, pgs 148-121; 1993xiv Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot and OtherDiscoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing; 1982xv Addiego, F., Belzer, E. G., Comolli, J., et al.: Female Ejaculation: ACase Study; The Journal of Sex Research, 17: 13-21; 1981xvi Leonardi, T.: Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking, The Ultimate inFemale Ecstasy; Signet, pgs 101-103; 1998xvii Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot and OtherDiscoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing, pg 81; 1982xviii Cabello Santamaria, F.: Female Ejaculation, Myth or Reality; in J.J. Borras-Valls & M. Perez-Conchillo (Eds). Sexuality and HumanRights: Proceedings of the XIII World Congress of Sexology, Valencia,NAU llibres., pgs 325-333; 1998xix Zaviacic, M., Zaviacicova, A., Holoman, I. K., and Molcan, J.:Female urethral expulsions evoked by local digital stimulation of the GSpot: Differences in the response patterns; The Journal of Sex Research24: 311-318; 1988xx Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot and OtherDiscoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing, pg 69; 1982xxi As stated per Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot andOther Discoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing (1982), pg75, shown as reference #4 involving a personal communication by PhilKilbraten, anthropologist; Bryn Mawr College, April 26, 1980xxii Muller, J., et al; The Myocardial Onset Study; The Journal of theAmerican Medical Association; May, 1996xxiii Whipple, B.: Sexual counseling of couples after a mastectomy ormyocardial infraction; Nurs Forum, 23: 85-91; 1987/88xxiv de Graaf, R.: New Treatise Concerning the Generative Organs ofWomen; Journal of Reproduction and Fertility, H.B. Jocelyn and B. P.Setchell, (eds), Oxford, England, pgs 103-107; 1672xxv Gräfenburg, E., and Dickinson, R.: Conception Control by PlasticCervix Cap,:pgs 337-338, 1950xxvi URL = http://www.indiana.edu/~kisiss/topten.html; The KinseyInstitute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction, Inc.: 1998-2000121